What have we come to as a nation when we call good evil and evil good?
After the attempted assassination of our former president, Donald J Trump, I saw posts making light of it. Some even said it was staged after one innocent bystander was killed by a stray bullet and two others are in critical condition.
We can do better than this. I believe that when a nation honors God, Biblical principles and has a conscience for truth, we do better.
Let’s take our eyes off political opponents, media hype, misleading headlines and simply look up. God does not need to be found, He needs to be invited into our mess so He can clean it up.
Would you consider inviting God into your mess today?
I remember the day I lost you, the moment I forgot what your voice sounded like. Both heartbreaking 😢💔Happy Father’s Day in heaven Daddy 💕 top left pic is my last Christmas with my dad and top right was the last trip we took to Kentucky together to see Papaw. He was showing me how to use the recorder so we could send messages back and forth to each other while we were apart. The bottom two pics just remind me I always have a little bit of him with me.
“Your wings were ready but my heart was not” author unknown 🙏🏻
Hiding away in Your love It covers all my pain Hold me now in Your heart Hear me now in Your mind See me move this mountain With You at my side Weak and trembling I fall Bold and courageous I rise My hand in Yours Your love covers me It beats away my pain
K. Howard June 15, 2017 #k4gsuspoetry Psalm 34:18 I would say God definitely is my promise keeper, my papa-daddy, the lover of my soul and the healer of my broken-heart. He’s a good good Father for sure. #moments #thinkabouteternalthings #thatJesuslife #nothingwasted #goodgoodfather #coldcase #fathermefather #fatherless #grief
“so that everyone who believes in him may have eternal life. For God loved the world in this way: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:15-16 CSB
Here we are at the end of our journey. We have conquered much, these past few months together. We have fought for our minds to embrace a truth about who God is to us, who we are to Him and why that matters. Taking our eyes off of what we see in this world while we long for the unseen treasures of eternity.
As you have probably discovered, there is no generic formula to get from the beginning of your time here until you pass on through to eternity. You are a unique, designed being, on a set course, for an eternal destination.
Where we spend eternity will be determined by who we put our trust in. We can put our trust in The One who designed and created our inmost being, before we were given, on loan, to our mother’s womb, or we can live our lives with no creator in mind at all. Whichever we choose, time ticks and eternity awaits our last tic on the clock because nobody makes it out of here, alive. We are not promised tomorrow. We cannot change the past. Today is meant to be seized with eternity in mind.
I leave you with some real questions. Where will you spend eternity? How will you spend your daily 1440 minutes as you walk out the timeline given to you that disrupted eternity? Do you know who God is to you? Do you know who you are to God? Do you know that where you spend eternity is anchored in those last 2 questions?
Only you can answer these questions honestly. If you do not know where to start, start with the Salvation prayer then by reading the book of John, Acts and Romans, in the Bible. I recommend the, The @YouVersion Bible App has a permanent spot on my home screen. http://bible.com/app , so you can pick a version of the Bible that is easy for you to understand and memorize.
Salvation prayer: Lord, I admit that I am a sinner. When I have sinned and when I sin, I sin against You only. I believe that You were born to a virgin, lived a sinless life, was crucified for no crime but for my sin to be erased, that You died and rose from the grave, conquered sin & death on my behalf, that You are in heaven preparing a place for me; and I believe that You are coming back for me, to be with You, for all of eternity. I confess to You Lord my sin ( confess whatever comes to mind) and I believe that my confessed sin is erased at the cross where You willingly laid down Your life for me. Lord, I believe Your word is an echo of Your heart and I will study, meditate and keep it in my heart and mind, daily. Amen.
“Little children, let us not love in word or speech, but in action and in truth.” 1 John 3:18 CSB
“Do everything without grumbling and arguing, so that you may be blameless and pure, children of God who are faultless in a crooked and perverted generation, among whom you shine like stars in the world, by holding firm to the word of life. Then I can boast in the day of Christ that I didn’t run or labor for nothing.” Philippians 2:14-16 CSB
“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared ahead of time for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10 CSB
It all looks good in verses, sermons and devotionals, but how do we clock into purpose? We can not apply what we do not know and or if we do not understand the why behind the do, or the how behind the apply.
Be careful, as we grow in Christ, to not be condescending towards someone who is not where you are yet. Be in tuned and always remember the wretch you were before you point out others wretched behavior.
I’m going to break it down; the how to clock into purpose steps. This is simple but it is a process. Everyone’s process is different. The first goal is to commit to never stop taking these steps through the process. The second goal is to allow yourself to be shaped and molded by the process rather than try to reshape the process to make it more comfortable. It’s okay if it’s uncomfortable. This is where the learning takes place.
Clocking into purpose will be familiar because it aligns with how God designed you. Your sinful nature, also known as the flesh, will fight you every step of the way to fulfilling your purpose, so be ready for the fight. Just remind yourself to be on the right side of the fight for your purpose.
Here are the steps:
Know who God is to you.
Know who you are to God.
Know why that matters.
These 3 simple steps will take the entire span of your life, while you’re on loan here, to master, but it will give you the confidence for and about eternity.
Next week we will discuss 7 areas to focus on to help us define who God is to us, find our identity in who He says we are to Him and learn why that matters in the process.
Lord, we are a mess without You. Thank You for the process. Thank You for taking my messy self and making something beautiful out of my mess. Help me focus on getting to know You and me better so that I understand the quality of life that my relationship with You brings to me and those around me. Amen.
“All things were created through him, and apart from him not one thing was created that has been created. In him was life, and that life was the light of men. That light shines in the darkness, and yet the darkness did not overcome it.” John 1:3-5 CSB
“Who among you by worrying can add a single moment to your life?” Matthew 6:27 CEB
Living in the present is much more achievable if we can leave the past behind us and plan for the future without worrying about the future.
Whether you have a train wreck behind you or sweet little bunny path full of sweetness for a past, your past is done. All you can do is embrace what is in front of you because as we learned from our grief week, it is all temporary. If we dwell on and beat ourselves up about the past or stress about the future, we rob ourselves of what is in front of us.
We can learn a lot from the past by simply pulling out that “ugly journal” we discussed in prior weeks and write down every time we freaked out about something that ended up turning out better than we ever imagined. When you start to stress, read and remind yourself that everything is going to be okay. I also like to add that it may not be the okay I planned for but it will be okay.
When you find yourself uttering the words, “could’ve”, “should’ve” or “would’ve”, stop, say out loud “Not productive, not going to help me.” Rather than verbally bash yourself and put yourself in a position to not be able to change what’s done, give yourself advice on how you will do it differently. That’s all you can do is learn from it and do it differently next time. Then trust God in the process.
By removing the weight of your yesterdays and the heaviness of the uncertainties of tomorrow, from your today, you can live in the present. If you’re a professional worrier, make it a point to become a warrior of prayer. Turn every worry into a conversation with God. Tell Him exactly what you are concerned about and then stick to what is directly in front of you, right now.
Toby Mac once said something so profound that really helped me get the concept of living in the present moment: “We worry about tomorrow like it’s promised”
Lord, we are a work in progress but we are also your vessel of spreading the good news. Help us be more aware of what we bring into our present moments that do not belong there. Help us focus on the gift of this day and show up for every divine appointment. Amen.
“Therefore, stop worrying about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:34 CEB
“King David longed to go to Absalom, for David had finished grieving over Amnon’s death.” 2 Samuel 13:39 CSB
When we lose someone we love or a season comes to an end that brought us much comfort and joy, we grieve. How we grieve matters. Avoiding grief will catch up with us eventually. If you are reading this and have not read Days 1-6 of week 3, I highly recommend doing so now. Do not avoid the process of grieving.
Before you go thinking that I do not understand loss, let me share a few of my most painful losses. At 4 years old, I watched our home burn to the ground with all of our belongings in it. Shortly after, my parents divorced. At 9 years old my father was murdered. At 10 years old my mother married my first of many abusers. I have lost people I loved to suicide, I thought that I could have saved. I have had 2 miscarriages. I lost my grandparents, my mom and my father figure within 5 years of of each other. I lost my best friend of 40 years unexpectedly to a heart condition (she was 50). I have lost relationships I thought would never end. Friendships with people and families had come to an abrupt end with no conversation as to why. I have known great success and great loss to the point that I feared being homeless.
In all of that pain that I experienced, of losing so much, I realized how temporary anything but God is. I have accepted that death is inevitable for anything or anyone that carries breath in their lungs. Death will take me by surprise but it does not have to take me down to the point of losing my life before my time is up. There is no way to escape death. We will experience it ourselves one day and will likely experience losing someone we know and or love to it. The most hopeful thing I’ve ever been offered is an eternity beyond this life; an eternity with the one who created me and loaned me to earth for a time; an eternity with no more tears, no more sadness, no more sickness, no more broken relationships and no more death. We are all on loan here from the moment of conception to death. Maybe that’s why the two greatest commandments are:
to love God with all of your heart, all of your mind and all of your soul. 2. To love your neighbor as yourself. With those two commandments the goal is to know our Maker’s voice when He calls us home. We want to treat everyone kindly while they’re on loan to us because we never know when their time is up.
In my opinion, birth is a sign of God’s gift of life while death is reminder of the timeline most of pay no attention to. As a believer in God, I can accept the timeline He gives me because I know it doesn’t end here. Therefore I must tell others that are still here about eternity and share this hope with them.
Lord, death is the most painful part of life, this side of eternity. Help us honor the living and the time our loved ones were on loan to us. Help us process grief in a way that brings honor to the ones we say goodbye to, for now. Amen.
“Then David got up and he washed himself. He put on clean clothes and special oil that had a good smell. He went into the Lord ‘s house to worship him. Then he returned to his own house and he asked for food. They gave it to him and he ate it.” 2 Samuel 12:20 EASY
“There is a right time for everything that we do under the sun. There is a time to be born. And there is a time to die. There is a time to plant seeds. Then the seeds will grow and they will become plants. And there is a time to pick the plants.” Ecclesiastes 3:1-2 EASY “There is a time to weep. And there is a time to laugh. There is a time to be sad. And there is a time to dance.” Ecclesiastes 3:4 EASY
When the fog begins to lift, reality sets in, and we’re squinting to find the light in the darkness, this is the beginning of acceptance. It is not stable at first but each day we take a step in the direction of our reality is a step closer to living with this loss. It does not mean that we won’t experience the other steps in the grieving process ever again. It just means they will reintroduce themselves with different levels of intensity at different lengths of time every time We are reminded that our loved one is not here.
What it does mean is that I loved this person while they were here and I will miss them deeply. My faith tells me, reminds me of the timeline they had, I have and others too. My faith also reminds me that I will see them again. I rest in this hope while I build up the strength to live life without them. I find ways to remember them well and share the impact that they had on my life. I choose to live and embrace the people I have around me and let them in on my pain. I choose to not isolate and choose to embrace the plan and purpose God has for me while I walk out my own timeline. None of us know when our time is up. Nobody makes it out alive, therefore, this loss should come as no surprise, it absolutely catches us off guard and it does come with pain and sorrow. While I work it all out through grieving what and who I have loved when it’s their time to go I will hope again and cherish the memories.
Lord, help me accept my loss in a way that shows my deep love for them while acknowledging the empty space they leave behind. Lord, fill that space with comfort, peace, love and joy. Help me carry on without them as I finish my own journey. Help me allow others permission to grieve how they need to. Help me walk in hope for the future here on earth and hope in eternity. Amen.
“Yes, you will have trouble like this for a short time. But after that, God will make everything right. He is completely kind and he will always help you. Because you belong to Christ, God has chosen you to live with him in heaven for ever. You will join him in that beautiful place. Then God will make you well again. He will make you strong in your spirits. You will be able to stand strongly. Yes, God rules with power for ever! Amen! This is true!” 1 Peter 5:10-11 EASY
“I hear your waterfalls make a noise like thunder. It seems like all that water is pouring over me and it knocks me down to the ground.” Psalms 42:7 EASY
Depression from loss is normal. It would be odd to not be sad when someone we love so much is no longer with us. It would be out of character to not be sad when a situation we found joy and contentment in has now ended abruptly or unexpectedly. To the same extent that we loved is the extent we will experience sorrow when that person or situation is gone. That sorrow is temporary but cyclical at times. We eventually learn to balance the sadness from our loss with the demands of living.
This becomes a problem when we stay in that sadness and not learn to find away to live without them or the situation. Though everyone grieves at different stages for different lengths of time, we must live, while we grieve. Ease ourselves back into the familiar routines that use up space and time that would be used to rehearse the pain. Part of our healing comes from living again as well as going from surviving our loss to coping with our loss. You might have doubts right now because it’s still fresh but it is possible. So, if you’re trapped in the process of depression, if you’re so immobilized by the pain of your loss that you can hardly get out of bed, make a sandwich or enjoy the many dishes of food brought to you by friends and family, it’s time to find a grief counselor. It’s time to think about asking for help. You are not as alone as you feel. God is with you, weeping with you and there are grief counseling groups, therapists and grief resources available to you. Friends mean well but they’re usually not equipped to help you out of depression. There are coping skills that a professional grief counselor can provide, if you’re willing.
The atmosphere of depression typically sets in the week after all of the arrangements have been made, the services are done, your autopilot has turned off, you do not have to be strong for anyone else, all of the company has gone home and you’re surrounded by food that will spoil before you can finish it, a card-box full of condolences and funeral arrangements. The tears flow and you fall asleep on a tear soaked pillow or worse you choke back the tears because you’re afraid once they start, you won’t be able to stop them.
This depression, this sadness will pass. And when it does, it does not mean that the person you love and lost is forgotten. It means, that you grieved and it’s time to learn how to honor their time here while you honor the time you have left with the ones still here.
Cry as much as your body tells you to. It will release toxins and help cleanse away the pain. Get into a grief group or at least meet with a grief counselor. But whatever you do do not try to battle this alone. Do not let the sadness convince you that you’re alone.
Lord, this stage of grief is so confusing and a blur when we look back on it. Help us reach out when the heaviness of our loss goes from normal, temporary depression to a clinical kind of depression. Trigger something in us to know when to ask for help. Lord, we thank you for never leaving us though we may feel like You’ve abandoned us. Feelings are not fact, they are like an indicator light on the dashboard of our car that help us navigate through our life journey. Help us respond accordingly in the best way, for the best outcome. Amen.
“God will take away all the tears from their eyes. Nobody will ever die again. Nobody will be sad again. Nobody will ever cry. Nobody will have pain again. Everything that made people sad has now gone. That old world has completely gone away.’” Revelation 21:4 EASY
“My God, my God, why have you abandoned me? Why are you so far away when I groan for help? Every day I call to you, my God, but you do not answer. Every night I lift my voice, but I find no relief.” Psalms 22:1-2 NLT
Anger is so appropriate after denial, isn’t it? Facing the injustice of death of a loved one or an end to a situation we thought we could count on forever. Rage begins to bubble for various reasons when we realize that the loss is irreversible. We start thinking of how unfair it all is, what we would’ve done differently had we had the chance. That sinking feeling that however our last moments were spent with that person we will not have another chance for a do-over.
The key for me in this stage of grief is to get it out by writing in my ugly journal. Yes that’s a real thing. I have a journal that my pen has gouged through, scratch marks that looks like a crime scene as well as my most unedited thoughts.. While other pages have words that would be rated with parental advisory in them. This journal is not for anyone but God and me. God, already knowing and understanding my pain, my frustration, my tear stained pages, He is the only one that gets the “why” behind my anger. He is the only One of whom I can trust in my own fragility to get me on through to other side.
Anger is normal. What is not normal or healthy is to let it live inside of you. If we allow anger to live inside of us, it will grow and it will slowly move every other necessary emotion out of us until we can’t process in love.
If you struggle with anger, get help to learn how to undo it’s damage to yourself and the ones living around you. Once someone is gone, through death or loss, or a season with them is over, our responsibility from here on out is to take care of our health and well-being as well as the people still with us. It doesn’t mean that we forget the person we lost. What it means is we find gratitude for the time we did have with them. Resting on anger for too long will not only destroy our current relationships but will destroy us too.
Lord, help us process our anger in a healthy way and show us how to get on the other side of it. We might wrestle with it more than once on this journey, but Lord, we don’t want it to consume us and the relationships we still have. Amen.
“Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don’t stay angry. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.” Ephesians 4:26-27 MSG
“Be kind and patient in a way that everyone can see. Remember that the Lord is near. Do not worry about anything. Instead, pray to God about everything. Ask him to help you with the things that you need. And thank him for his help. If you do that, God will give you peace in your minds. That peace is so great that nobody can completely understand it. You will not worry or be afraid, because you belong to Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:5-7 EASY
Most, or close to all, experts agree that the necessity to process loss is vital to being able to function physically, emotionally and mentally without the person or thing that they lost. Watching a loved one go through the process of loss and grief can be challenging. Many times we don’t know how to respond to our own grief so we fail at supporting others through theirs. Whether your watching someone you love process their grief or working through your own grief, reach out, listen, hug, cry but whatever you do, do not do nothing.
I am high on the list of people that when I do not know what to do, I do nothing. I shut down and am comfortable pushing everyone away, when I’m hurting. I tend to go silent if someone else is hurting for fear of saying something the wrong way and worse, being responsible for making them feel worse. I’m learning ways to break that habit of going silent when people I love are hurting. Go ahead and steal these if you struggle with this too. The first thing I do is reach out and acknowledge their loss. A simple: “I’m so sorry for your loss.”The other thing I do is follow up and let them know I’m thinking of them. It goes something like this: “Hey, I was thinking of you today. I’m available if you need to talk.” What I don’t do anymore is ask how they’re doing. That question triggers me so I just stopped saying it. Grieving people need to grieve at their own pace. If you’re genuine, just be available. You don’t have to fix it, or preach at anyone or force them through the process. Everyone grieves differently. So by giving yourself and others permission to go through the process at your/their own pace is typically well-received. The fact is it hurts. Let the pain of the loss be felt without judgement or guilt. We/they eventually get through the pain to acceptance but there are some more steps in the process to get there. Be patient with yourself and with others that are experiencing loss.
The denial step gives us a minute to protect ourselves from the pain coming as a result of losing someone or something that we love. However, if we sit in denial for too long it becomes a delusion that no longer protects us but lies to us about reality. This distorts our ability to make the best decisions in the middle of our pain. Denial is part of the process but is meant to be temporary. It’s intended to give us a minute to catch our breath from the big blow to our gut and heart. Catch your breath my friend but don’t stay here too long. If you stay here too long, it will hurt you and the ones living around you, in the long-run.
Lord, help us through the steps of grief with your word and promise of peace. We believe that in due time we will be able to honor the time we had with our loved one that has passed or be grateful for the season we had with a specific thing but while the loss is still fresh, we are hurting. We can’t face this without Your comfort and peace. Help us take the time while in this step of denial to find the strength within us to face this loss. Amen.
“Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.” Philippians 4:8-9 MSG
“When I have trouble, your promise gives me peace in my mind. It makes my life strong again.” Psalms 119:50 EASY
Grief, just the word brings a sense of heaviness to our hearts. Grief represents many painful parts of our life. It is a part of life and is usually associated with death. Death of a loved one, death of a season, death of a relationship. Many things that we once thought would last forever, brought to an end. This is the heaviness of grief.
One will not live too long before they experience it. Yet, we avoid it, deny its existence and pretend it will go away if we ignore it. However, we learn at some point it needs to be faced, if we want peace.
Rehearsing the events leading up to the loss doesn’t help because something always triggers the pain associated with it. Pretending like it doesn’t hurt doesn’t work because we hurt alone. The only way to process grief is to face it.
I’m not an expert but I have practiced healthy processing of grieving and unhealthy processing of it. I can assure you that processing your grief in a healthy way will not only help you but will allow you to help others in their grieving process. Since grief is inevitable, it would be best to learn how to face it.
“In her original book, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross referenced five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. … There is, however, healthy and unhealthy (unresolved) grief, and being able to recognize if help is necessary is important.” (Better Help, March 18,2021, Buckly, medically reviewed by Deborah Horton)
We are going to face the stages of grief together this week.
Lord, help us grieve in a healthy way so that we can be of support to one another in loss and pain. We look to You God for truth and real application to not try to live amongst the dead but embrace the living. Amen
“We thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, because he is so good to us. As our Father, he is very kind to us. He is our God who comforts us in every way. Whenever we have trouble, he comforts us. Because of that, we ourselves can comfort other people. When they have any kind of trouble, we can comfort them, in the same way that God has comforted us. Christ himself received much pain, and God comforted him. As Christ’s servants, we also receive the same kind of pain. But, God also comforts us very much, because we belong to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 EASY
From the Depths of Kell 