Write about your first name: its meaning, significance, etymology, etc.

My parents were not in agreement about my name. They did not agree on much. I suppose that’s why their marriage barely made it to my 4th birthday.

My mother filled out the paperwork in the hospital without my dad’s knowledge. She wanted to call me, ShellyAnne. My dad wanted to name me Kelliann. My mom insisted on having her way because she said, “It’s just name.” However my dad said, “It’s her identity, it will follow her all the days of her life.”

In spite of my mom going behind my dad’s back, he had the final say. My name was finalized as Kelliann (beautiful warrior) Jeanette (after my grandmother) Howard (my surname means peacemaker).

Now that I have some time behind me, I believe my dad knew I needed that identity to survive the life that I was handed. Due to losing him at such a young age, I didn’t have his hand of protection, his wisdom and guidance or his physical presence. My mom had mental illness and our relationship was rocky at best. Even at the abusive hand of her husband, she rejected me and chose him over me.

I’ve done more than survive my childhood. I found a way to thrive. It was natural for me to fight but equally desirable to me to have peace. It was later in life, after I got my childhood behind me, that I learned the meaning behind my name. However, after knowing the battle over the name I would carry, it made perfect sense to me. My name is Kelliann, pronounced: Kel LEE in. I’m proud of the name was given.