What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?
Ever since I fell 2 stories, and broke my back, I am terrified of heights. I literally get shaky legs, heart racing, instantly get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Fear sits in my stomach looking at this photo
I can’t even watch other people do heights, of any kind, without feeling the ill effects of this imagery.
Fear is such a liar, sometimes, isn’t it? I mean, prior to my fall I never gave heights a second thought. Unless, I take a step off of a cliff, heights are not going to take me down. My mind just doesn’t process heights that way when confronted with it. Fear may be a liar but I get sucked into its toxic vacuum every time.
Maybe one day I’ll conquer this fear. However, today, is not that day.
Many people would look at this landscape photo and call it beautiful. I look at this photo and think about having to clear off my truck and drive in it. I am not a fan of snow, like at all. No, I do not think it’s pretty. Green lush grass, blooming trees, flowers and warm sun on my face, is absolutely beautiful.
I start complaining about the cold as soon as temperatures drop below 75 degrees F. Many have tried to coerce me into liking it but I’m good. I’ll be alright, about mid May. Until then expect some complaining.
During the “Bad Boys” era of the Detroit Pistons. I did not miss a home game. Now, I could not even name a player.
My other obsession, Tom Brady. Now that he’s retired, I have no person or team to be loyal to.
I’m from Detroit so the Lions never were much worth watching but the tickets were always affordable. Lol! Until this past season. It’s like the Lions transformed. I might just have to be a fan after all these years.
This is such an age old question. Yet, how we respond says a lot about our priorities. With that being said, this is this dreamer’s list:
Hire a financial advisor. For obvious reasons. According to the National Endowment for Financial Education, 70% of lottery winners go bankrupt within a few years. Obtaining more money often leads to careless spending and the desire to get more money, and the greed can be destructive to the lives of winners and their families.
Debt is something that weighs on my mind. I would pay off not only my debt but kids & grandkids too. When money works for you, it’s a blessing but when one has debt it’s like the weight of a curse.
Start a living trust for my kids and grandkids so that they would have their best financial start in life.
Start an education fund for my kids and grandkids. It wouldn’t have to be for college necessarily but anything that helps them pursue their “what I want to be when I grow up” aspirations. It could even be start up money for a business.
Build two homes on the water, with a pool, 4 guest houses on the property, one for each of my kids and their families. One in Oxford, Michigan, the other in St. Augustine, FL. I want to take the financial burden off of our families in trying to be together.
Give 10% of the winnings to both of my churches in Michigan and Florida.
Publish the rest of my books
Buy my husband his new boat
Buy me a pontoon boat and jet skis
Go back to school to get my masters and doctorate degrees.
Set up one family cruise per year
Open a West Highland Terrier Kennel Club, doggie daycare and training center for my favorite breed of dog.
Open a retreat house and camp ground with cabins.
Pay the debt of all local school lunches for the kids and fill their lunch accounts for a school year in our districts in both Michigan and Florida.
What ever is left be dispersed in incremental amounts equal to accommodating the cost of living comfortably on a weekly basis.
I own more books than I do any other item in my home. Some people collect coins, art, shoes or even beanie babies but I can find all of those common collections in a book if needed.
Though my library is full, at least that’s what my spouse thinks, as I mature in age and in interests so does my book lists. I devour books about my faith, the human psyche, self-improvement and anything that captures my attention in the first 3 paragraphs.
My current list of “want to reads”:
1. Cold-Case Christianity: A Homicide Detective Investigates the Claims of the Gospels
2. Signature in the Cell: DNA and the Evidence for Intelligent Design
3. Darwin’s Doubt: The Explosive Origin of Animal Life and the Case for Intelligent Design
4. The Cell’s Design: How Chemistry Reveals the Creator’s Artistry
5. The Edge of Evolution: The Search for the Limits of Darwinism
6. Where the Conflict Really Lies: Science, Religion, and Naturalism
I am currently obsessed with intelligent design, Christian Science and the audience that rejects them.
Write about a few of your favorite family traditions.
My youngest 1st time reading Christmas morning
We have read these 2 books every Christmas morning for 31 years. Our traditions for my favorite time of the year actually start on Christmas Eve. That is when everyone gets to open one gift of my choosing, which is always Christmas Pajamas.
2023 Jammie Theme
Christmas morning we have Jesus’s birthday cake and read our books before we open any gifts. I started this to highlight the verses in the Bible that says, “Taste and see that the Lord is good.” Psalm 34:8
The books bring the whole holiday in perspective as a Christian celebrating the most significant part of our faith. The birth of Jesus. So rather than read straight from the Bible I found these two books that told the story and relevance through a child’s eyes. My four girls have continued these traditions for more than 3 decades. So I’m pretty sure that they see the benefit of taking the focus off of the wrapped gifts under the tree and remember baby Jesus wrapped in swaddling clothes.
I have found that by making our faith important without squashing the hype of Christmas has withstood through the years. What more could a momma of faith, hope and love receive than their children giving faith, hope and love to their children.
What do you enjoy doing most in your leisure time?
If I were to capture an image of me trying to process leisure time.
I’m married, a mother of 4, a Nana to 8, a dog mom and I work full-time . I have no idea what leisure time feels like. I don’t recall a time that I’ve been bored either. When people say they’re bored, I’m like, “What kind of world does one live in to be still long enough to be bored.
I guess I equate leisure time and boredom as similar. I also connect the two to laziness because there is always something that needs tended to. Even vacation time needs preparation, a plan or something needs done or food packed or a cooler…. It’s always something.
This may sound like I’m complaining, however, that is far from how I feel about leisure time. I love to be busy. My motto used to be “I can sleep when I’m dead”. Now I just try to use every waking minute being productive so that I sleep LIKE the dead.
I suppose it’s my nervous energy that causes me to keep moving. I don’t mind the way I am about leisure time at all. I do the things because things need to get done.
Name an attraction or town close to home that you still haven’t got around to visiting.
Our Historic Museum
The one place, only 4 blocks from my apartment, is our local museum. I grew up in Oxford, MI, sister city to Oxford, England. Two lights about one mile apart, showcase, what we call, the Village of Oxford. Though I’ve attended just about every event held in our little village at the gazebo in centennial park, I have yet to visit our museum. The closest I got to seeing it was my 3rd grade field trip. Unfortunately, I was ill that day, so no museum tour for me.
Some of the things we are known for:
-Being the Gravel Pit Capital of The World
-Home of the Lone Ranger
-Sea Ray Boats
It’s interesting to me, that outsiders, sojourners and site seers will intentionally come to this museum. Yet, someone like me, who lived in the middle of all of it, has no urgency to go. However, as I write this, I suddenly feel as though I’m missing out on knowing these pieces of History that impacted many people around the nation.
I think it’s time I take a walk through my personal experiences here through the lens of Historical eyes.
My number one fun thing to do, is read my bible. I became a Christian at 19 years old. It has literally been the best decision I have ever made in my life. 35 years later, and the Bible still gives me new perspective, renewed hope, inspiration and wisdom beyond my experiences.
Yes those are lunch trays, when you’re feeding 17 people (our immediate family) it makes the food line go much quicker 🥰.
My second fun thing that I do is cook for my family, guests and potluck functions. If I want to get real crazy I make something I’ve never made before. There’s just something about meal preparations that lifts my spirits when I’m down. Then when I sit back and watch everyone enjoy the meal, I prepared, ask me for the recipe or tell me to make sure that recipe is in the “holy grail, cookbook”. That is my personal cookbook with all of our favorite recipes.
My third is connected to my first two. Sharing my faith and food with my husband, kids and grandkids. I can’t have a bad moment when I have them all together, under one roof. Our, before meal, prayer that the kids sing, and their voices sound like an angelic choir, the giggles, laughter, board games and memories made, fill my heart with joy.
My first ever book signing event
Fourth is writing. Writing/journaling saved my life. The freedom to verbally dump all that is weighing heavy on my heart or write an inspirational piece that someone else related to, makes me feel complete. I’m a bit of an introvert. Writing helps me reach out without actually being center of attention. I thank God every day for this gift of writing. It has been a life-long journey that I can’t imagine my life without it.
My youngest and I at St. Augustine Beach, FL
Lastly, the ocean. I could sit and listen to children splashing, laughing and jumping waves for hours. The smell of the salt water, the sound of a rushing wave is an out of body experience for me. I close my eyes and take it all in. The warmth of the sun on my skin, the feeling of warm sand between my toes, must be a glimpse of heaven, in my opinion. Just leave me there at sunrise, with a cooler of water, fresh cut fruit, my notebook and a comfy beach chair. Forget about me until the sunsets so that sky painted ever so delicately but simultaneously, absolutely brilliant, can lead me to a moonlit walk on the water. While that picture perfect day is forever imprinted in my mind.
My youngest playing her piano by ear for the first time
These blessings on blessings, I do not deserve but I’m so glad that the good lord thought enough of me to lend them to me while I’m here. I cherish these beautiful things that are not things but a lifetime of experiences that fill every part of my being. These are the top five fun things for me.
If you could make your pet understand one thing, what would it be?
Sir Chewbacca Brutus Theis “Chewy”
Dear Chewy,
If you only knew the joy that you’ve brought to our family. You were exactly what we needed. Without you I may not even be here to share this. I’m grateful for the night you saved my life.
When I had a severe case of Covid you rescued me with your instincts. I was on oxygen around the clock until my lungs would produce oxygen that would stay above 88% on their own. One evening, we put you in your crate, I went to sleep. Just like any other normal evening.
However, this particular evening, I woke up to you barking, restless and making quite a fuss in your crate. You were rattling the cage door as if trying to open it with an urgency. I kept trying to wake up but my body seemed in a deeper sleep than normal.
It turned out that my oxygen machine shut off sometime while I was sleeping. So I just about crawled to the machine to turn it back on. I checked my oxygen level and it was at 85%. Had you not made that fuss in your cage to wake me up, I may not be here to write about the difference you’ve made in my life.
Write about your first name: its meaning, significance, etymology, etc.
My parents were not in agreement about my name. They did not agree on much. I suppose that’s why their marriage barely made it to my 4th birthday.
My mother filled out the paperwork in the hospital without my dad’s knowledge. She wanted to call me, ShellyAnne. My dad wanted to name me Kelliann. My mom insisted on having her way because she said, “It’s just name.” However my dad said, “It’s her identity, it will follow her all the days of her life.”
In spite of my mom going behind my dad’s back, he had the final say. My name was finalized as Kelliann (beautiful warrior) Jeanette (after my grandmother) Howard (my surname means peacemaker).
Now that I have some time behind me, I believe my dad knew I needed that identity to survive the life that I was handed. Due to losing him at such a young age, I didn’t have his hand of protection, his wisdom and guidance or his physical presence. My mom had mental illness and our relationship was rocky at best. Even at the abusive hand of her husband, she rejected me and chose him over me.
I’ve done more than survive my childhood. I found a way to thrive. It was natural for me to fight but equally desirable to me to have peace. It was later in life, after I got my childhood behind me, that I learned the meaning behind my name. However, after knowing the battle over the name I would carry, it made perfect sense to me. My name is Kelliann, pronounced: Kel LEE in. I’m proud of the name was given.
As a little girl, at 8 years of age, I sat in my closet to process the murder of my father. The news was beyond horrific for a child my age to understand nor even know how to recover emotionally from this incredible loss. I was a painfully shy child with no coping skills for trauma, loss or conflict. I hid in my closet to allow my grief to unfold. I was brokenhearted, with no where to dump my pain.
I fell asleep in my own tears. When I woke up, my hand had stumbled upon a pencil and my head on a spiral notebook. I pulled the light string to confirm what these items were. It was in that moment that my notebook became my best friend and confidant.
My journaling went from tear dripped pages to poetry, and expressive writing. Eventually, I joined my school newspaper and yearbook club. I continued to write my way out of or into every aspect of my life.
My dream job is to be a freelance writer for my faith, for others dreams that they cannot quite articulate themselves or scriptwriting for fictional stories or documentaries.
Writing saved my life. I want to write for the rest of my life so to captivate, inspire and teach others.
From the Depths of Kell 