What experiences in life helped you grow the most?
Having children has taught me so much about life. Each one of my girls brought their own set of lessons for me to learn. I thank God every day that He entrusted them to me. My eldest taught me patience, my next taught me peace, my third taught me joy and my youngest brought me a new perspective on my faith. I am so grateful for the sweet reward of being a girl mom.
Describe a phase in life that was difficult to say goodbye to.
The most difficult goodbye I ever experienced was driving to Kentucky, with my uncle, to my dad’s funeral at 9 years old.
This was my first experience with the death of a loved one or death at all. My dad was murdered in his home. Allegedly, by some of his business associates. My dad was shot, execution style, point blank range to his forehead. Then put in a black garbage bag and tossed into a ditch a few miles from his home, according to the police report.
It was too much for a little girl to process. He had a veiled casket due to them not being able to fully reconstruct his face. I said, goodbye to my weekend visits, our bedtime calls and ever hearing my dad’s voice again. Nothing was really the same after that difficult goodbye.
What is the biggest challenge you will face in the next six months?
In the next six months, I will begin my masters degree program and prepare my family for buying our first home together, as a married couple. My husband is adopting our youngest daughter. Let’s just say it’s going to be a busy year, for sure.
These things are challenging but the reward upon completion is beyond what I could have thought or imagined, for my younger self. All of the hard work, discipline, dedication and sacrifice was worth it to get here.
It’s hard work, to not try to keep up with our peers. We had to wait to do things that others have done for years. The dedication to the goal requires discipline and focus on the completion of the goals. We had to sacrifice many things that seemed like a need at the time but in reality those things were just a list of wants, that we did just fine without.
Challenges are opportunities to overcome, to grow, to lead and to wait on something better than what you initially had or wanted. I’m up for the challenges life brings my way. Are you?
What advice would you give to your teenage self?
Everything you’re about to endure is going to give you the tools to handle the challenges in your future. You are in training for the battle of your life. You are not a victim, you are a warrior, for such a time as this.
Keep moving forward no matter what is in front of you. Press on, press in and trust God with your whole heart. He will be the only relationship that does not let you down. Even in those darkest hours, when you feel as though God has abandoned you, I assure you He has not.
Don’t be afraid to take risks, make mistakes or try new things. Even if you mess up, God can use it and flip the script so long as your end goal is to serve Him and your faith all the days of your life.
You will hit many battles along your timeline of events but the blessings in between, your children and grandchildren will be what gives you the strength and courage to do really hard things.
Whatever you do hold onto hope, do not let anything steal your peace and do not allow anyone to take up free rent space in your head. Read your Bible, go to Church, serve every chance you get.
Save your money while you’re young. Educate yourself on the difference between needs and wants. Needs are water, food, shelter, clothing and a healthy, peaceful home. Wants are desires of the heart. Those wants will come in due time, nothing is as immediate as you think at the time.
Give yourself time to process for at least 24 hours on big decisions and big expenses. It’s interesting how giving yourself space between a want and the actual cost of your time, talents and resources will save you from buyer’s remorse.
Finally, girl, you’re gonna make it!
Love,
Your Future Self
Who are your favorite people to be around?
My family is the most important to me. I’ll start with my girls. I have four incredibly talented, beautiful, smart and daughters. I am so proud to be their momma. I have such a wonderful relationship with each of them. I am so blessed that God would allow me to be a part of who they are today. Being around them individually or all together fills my heart to the full.
Next, my grandchildren are my legacy’s future. Each one of them having their unique gifts and talents. I love hearing their laughter as we sit around eating good food, playing games inside or playing sports outside. What a joy each one of them brings to my life.
My husband is my safe, happy place, where I can be me. He rolls with the good, the bad and the ugly with me. There is nothing we can’t do together. Yet, we each have our individual stuff too but it doesn’t separate us, if that makes sense. Even when we’re doing our own thing, I feel close to Him.
But that little dog of mine. Who would’ve known that this little 14 lb dog would bring loads and loads of joy into our home.
My home is my favorite place to be and my family are my favorite ones to love.
Share one of the best gifts you’ve ever received.
I remember the day He reached me on His mission to save me. I was 16 years old. First, I received a King James Bible, with my name inscribed on it, for my birthday. Mind you, I was not raised in a Christian home.
Next, I read the forward entitled, “Jesus: Man for All Time”. It blew my mind that nobody was talking about Jesus, at least around me. I became extremely sensitive to the words I consumed that day. I sensed a reverence towards this man, Jesus, of whom I knew very little about that day.
About a year after that, I was at a Hallmark store and saw a plaque with the poem, “A letter from a Friend”. I’ll include a copy of it at the end.
Jesus reached me through word, the Bible through revelation by educating me on Who He is. It was like I had this divine appointment on my calendar that I didn’t put there but somehow knew I needed to be there. Finally, through a poem on a plaque, in a Hallmark store.
How else would he reach a writers’ heart but through these means of communication. He was in relentless pursuit of me, while I was as far away as I could get from Him.
And that was just the betrothal stages 🥰
He sealed the deal with a Sermon Series on a Father to the Fatherless in 1989. This was so significant because my father was murdered when I was 9 years old. I learned that I was no longer fatherless, no longer orphaned but adopted into God’s family and I was never as alone as I often thought.
So, don’t, nobody, try to tell me Jesus isn’t who He says He is. He pursued me, when I needed Him the most. What a gift it is to know Jesus, deeply, intimately and intentionally.
Write about your dream home.
My dream home is not a structure but an atmosphere. Where peace welcomes and love embraces everyone that crosses its threshold. A place where God is revered, honored and glorified. Where unity reigns, joy strengthens and wisdom leads. When this atmosphere resides in any structure, my dream home becomes a reality.
You get some great, amazingly fantastic news. What’s the first thing you do?
No matter the news, my go to person is my spouse. He gets me. Sometimes, even more than myself.
Are there any activities or hobbies you’ve outgrown or lost interest in over time?
It’s not that I outgrew or lost interest it’s because I fell and broke my back. I used to play softball, volleyball, wallyball, dance and teach a dance class.
After I broke my back, all of those things became almost impossible to do or even if I could, I feared re-injury.
It’s challenging when my kids, friends or family members treat me like I have no clue what it’s like to be in a sport of any kind. I want to scream from the roof tops of what I used to be able to do. However, I find myself sinking into those thoughts and feelings because no one really cares what I used to do. They only care about what I can do now.
It’s like I’m someone I used to know, as if this new version of me is more like an antique and the old version of me is brand new. They’re both me. I need to accept that and just move in to the next season of my seasoned life.
Do you need a break? From what?
I just need a little break in between getting my BSCOM and go after my Masters.
College came later for me but I didn’t want that to be an excuse not to do well. Juggling full-time work, family & managing my household was a challenge but mission accomplished.
Describe your most ideal day from beginning to end.
Waking up to the sound of the ocean coming through my sliding glass door, from my bedroom balcony, with my eyes still closed, thanking God in advance for this glorious day. I sit on the balcony watching the radiant colors of morning burst through the horizon, as daylight pushes back the darkness of night.
My house staff knocks on the door with my morning coffee and breakfast. My dogs sit next to me while I hang out with God and His masterpiece of a display. Another knock at the door, it’s time for my morning massage.
My library faces the ocean. This is where my laptop and I engage for the next writing piece. The ocean reminds me of who is charge. It inspires humility in that, no matter what I’m going through, God is bigger. My writing time comes to an end after a few hours, when the flow of ideas and rabbit trails slowly diminish.
Now it’s time to prepare for the family to come and enjoy the pool. We play and splash with lots of giggles and cannonballs. Nothing pressing us more than our sweet time together.
We all head in after sunset. I’m cooking in my custom designed kitchen while everyone sits at the breakfast bar or table. Some are reading, others are playing cards or board games and occasionally one or two come in to learn how to cook one of my recipes.
The liveliness of my family and pets fill the room. My heart is full and my soul is satisfied because God has blessed me far beyond what I could’ve ever imagined.
This is a picture of my ideal day.
How do significant life events or the passage of time influence your perspective on life?
When I was a child, I couldn’t wait to be an adult so that I could be in charge of my life. I missed out on a lot of life events chasing adulthood.
When I was a young adult, I yearned for the simplicity of being a child; When my biggest concern was counting down the days of summer I had left to go back to school; When my best friend and I had a fight; What I was wearing to the school dance; How was I going to convince my mom for an hour later curfew or the big test I was having in class.
Now that I have some life experience behind me, I cherish the moments that made me the mom, nana and wife I am today. All of which I learned the hard way, most of the time.
Now that I’m moving into my 55th year of life, realizing that I have much less days in front of me than behind me; it’s so important for me to make an impact that leaves a legacy that my children and grandchildren are proud of. The moments I took for granted as a child now flicker through my mind as they’re happening, as if I were watching them on the big screen.
My perspective has changed from hope and planning for a future to gratitude and preparing for my passing. From never thinking about what I would leave behind if I die today to thinking about it almost daily. All of which is good. I am blessed with children and grandchildren that continue to give me moments to cherish & a husband who never leaves me wondering if I’m loved. I want to leave a legacy that my family finds worthy enough to talk about long after I’m gone.
From the Depths of Kell 