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In 40 days…

In 40 days we will remember what Jesus did for us.

“looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭12‬:‭2‬ ‭ESV‬‬


https://bible.com/bible/59/heb.12.2.ESV

Today is Ash Wednesday, the first day of our 40 day journey to the cross that Christ endured for us, for our sin, for our forgiveness of sin, for our salvation from hell, for our relationship with Him to be reconciled for all of eternity. I’m so glad that God did not allow the reconciliation of our relationship to be dependent on my own strength. I’m so grateful that it was on Jesus’s reputation and sinless life that paid a great price for my sinful decisions and behavior. I have struggled with many things throughout my life, but one that I can always find peace in, and put my full confidence in is when Jesus revealed Himself to me, I knew that I had found my savior from all those struggles and bad decisions.

If you choose to lay aside anything that gets in the way of Jesus revealing Himself to you? I promise you, that it will be the single most important decision you make, because it will ultimately lead to an eternity with the One Who created you. Jesus is real whether you acknowledge Him or not.

I challenge you that whether you’re a believer of Jesus one day or 90 days, or anything in between, take the steps to fast anything that you allow to get in the way of having a committed relationship with God. If you’re an unbeliever or doubter or unsure of this whole Jesus thing? Take the 40 day challenge to lay aside those doubts and pose your questions to God about Him. He will show up.

Lord, the next 40 days is not about rituals and traditions within a specific denomination. It is a time of reflection, remembering and reminding me of what You’ve done to secure my eternity, with You. I don’t want to miss the opportunity to know You more, to give up things that get in the way of our relationship. May we not leave this next 40 days the same as we entered it. In Jesus Name, Amen!

#40days #fasting #praying #seeking #remembering

Who am I?

“And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.”
‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭2‬:‭1‬-‭3‬ ‭ESV‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/59/eph.2.1-3.ESV

I am part of God’s family now. My life is no longer about what this world can offer me. I long to see my life worked out in eternity. I believe that I was once one way and now I know I am a child of the Uncreated One, who created everyone, a Royal Family, that wants me to walk in the identity I was created for.

Who am I? I am a child of God.

Lord, thank You for showing me who I am more than 35 years ago. Sometimes, I forget and fall back into old patterns that block the view of Your plan and purpose for my life. Help me clear the foggy mirror, to see that I am a child of God, even when I mess up. I just want to run to You, in those moments of defeat, so that Your presence reminds me who and Whose, I am. Amen.

#identity #childofGod #truth

Who Am I?


“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why“. 

Mark Twain

“At the beginning of your pleas for mercy a word went out, and I have come to tell it to you, for you are greatly loved. Therefore consider the word and understand the vision.”
Daniel‬ ‭9‬:‭23‬ ‭ESV‬‬

You are greatly loved. Though this passage was written about Daniel, it’s true for us too. So many think that God is on His throne looking to and fro of whom He can punish, no my friends, that’s the devil.

God is right there with you. Waiting for you to do life WITH Him. Everything He created, including you, He created with a healthy, loving, joyful relationship in mind, with YOU. I assure you that regardless of what you have done, forgiveness and a new start, He would gladly give.

I know this because I read where He joyfully laid down His life for all, even the ones that would reject Him, to make forgiveness a viable option for our sinful man. God is not mad at you. God is madly in love with you. He created you to be in relationship with you. The healthiest, safest relationship available to all who would receive it. Will you receive it?

I pray that anyone reading this, encounters the living God today. In all His fullness. That this encounter leads them to repentance. That today is the day of their salvation. That they understand the vision of eternity in mind. We will all face eternity one day but we will all not end up in the same place. Lord enlighten the eyes of their hearts so that see the one true God that you are. No decision is still a decision. Choose this day who you will serve, God or the devil. For me and my house, we will choose God.

Embrace the interruption

“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭16‬:‭9‬ ‭ESV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/59/pro.16.9.ESV

If you’re anything like me, interruptions in your plans can be frustrating and bring to the surface a side of you that you’d prefer no one would see.

I’m really working on welcoming those interruptions to see if I am missing something in the bigger picture, specifically the picture that God holds in His hand. My goal is to give room for a God moment, a divine appointment or an adjustment that brings about a better plan for me and whomever is also a victim (er, I mean, gifted) to these unplanned interruptions.

What if interruptions were gifts from God, not situations taking from us but gifting us something better than we could’ve ever planned in the first place?

Let’s picture how many interruptions (gifts) that we pushed aside to focus on our own plans and agendas, sitting on a table. How big is your pile of unopened gifts? Mine is bigger than I prefer to mention here, however, I thank God for giving me a different perspective on interruptions. I don’t want to miss out on anymore opportunities stemmed from my plans being interrupted. Today, I commit to embracing the interruptions that come my way.

What are some ways that we can make room for God, when we’re hyper-focused on the plans we make?

Below are a few ways from Proverbs to soften our hearts to those unplanned moments:

Who Am I?


“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why“. 

Mark Twain

“At the beginning of your pleas for mercy a word went out, and I have come to tell it to you, for you are greatly loved. Therefore consider the word and understand the vision.”
Daniel‬ ‭9‬:‭23‬ ‭ESV‬‬

You are greatly loved. Though this passage was written about Daniel, it’s true for us too. So many think that God is on His throne looking to and fro of whom He can punish, no my friends, that’s the devil.

God is right there with you. Waiting for you to do life WITH Him. Everything He created, including you, He created with a healthy, loving, joyful relationship in mind, with YOU. I assure you that regardless of what you have done, forgiveness and a new start, He would gladly give.

I know this because I read where He joyfully laid down His life for all, even the ones that would reject Him, to make forgiveness a viable option for our sinful man. God is not mad at you. God is madly in love with you. He created you to be in relationship with you. The healthiest, safest relationship available to all who would receive it. Will you receive it?

I pray that anyone reading this, encounters the living God today. In all His fullness. That this encounter leads them to repentance. That today is the day of their salvation. That they understand the vision of eternity in mind. We will all face eternity one day but we will all not end up in the same place. Lord enlighten the eyes of their hearts so that see the one true God that you are. No decision is still a decision. Choose this day who you will serve, God or the devil. For me and my house, we will choose God.

Sunday, my favorite Day of the Week

I love everything about it. From the moment I wake up, until the final prayer, to the lazy Sunday afternoon with family and friends. It never gets mundane or forgotten. I plan and await its coming every Monday. I love Sundays.

The gift of rest that Sundays allow are much needed in our world of constant noise, chaos and devices. But Sundays, say, “You can keep going in all of that, or sit with me and recharge, rest, and build relationships, with the ones you love. It’s a gift, not just another day, to fill up with tasks and todo lists.”

I get to open this gift, of Sundays, every week. I get to go to Church and surround myself with the presence of God and people that believe God too. Sundays, the gift that keeps on giving all throughout the week. Just when I think the week will consume me with all its demands, there is Sunday, waiting like a peaceful stream, behind a log cabin in the woods. Thank God, for Sundays.

Boundaries, Commitment and Priorities

How do you balance work and home life?

Balance

Finding balance in an overwhelming schedule is challenging. However, I have found that being successful in the process comes down to these three things, boundaries, commitment and priorities. Out of these three things I utilize techniques, within the process, to stay balanced, effective and efficient with my time, energy and resources.

Boundaries are used in many ways to protect as well as provide a separation between what is allowed in our lives and what is not allowed in our lives. A well thought out boundary will keep wandering things from showing up in our plans. Boundaries also have a door, which is the flexible portion of our day. Through this door we can put out things that aren’t working and welcome in help to get things done more efficiently and often times, quicker. Boundaries protect from distractions and the unexpected things that pop up in life.

Which leads us to the next thing, to maintain balance, is commitment to the goal. Whatever isn’t part of the goal has to be considered a hindrance to end result and must wait until after the goal is met. Commitment to yourself, your family and your work will develop our next technique.

Prioritizing, is probably one of the hardest for me because I often think everything is a priority. As if I’m some kind of super human that can get everything done, never say no to volunteering and always being available for every human in my life. In order for me to prioritize I go through this thought process:

1. Does this take away from my needed downtime?

2. Does this sacrifice time with my family?

3. Does this give me energy or does it drain me of energy?

4. Does it maintain the balance I am fighting for or will it cause imbalance?

Allow me to put this in perspective. If I’ve scheduled some down and an alert pops up or someone asks me to run an errand or really any plethora of things the people we love asks us to do, it’s important to give myself that time. Otherwise, I become rundown, burnt out and sometimes even sick from not taking rest when I need it and when I schedule it.

When something or someone takes time away from my family specifically, mealtimes, bedtime, before school time or vacation time; I actually get offended. I already have to divide my work life from my family life, there is no make up time for supporting my husband at his office event, helping my kids through every stage of childhood, listening to them, going to their events, volunteering at their school and taking them to birthday parties. Truly consider how short 18 years is and you’ll learn to prioritize, real quick.

Never do anything that pulls more energy than it gives. That’s it. That’s the self-guided rule for prioritizing, and when to say yes or no.

That last one is tricky. Some things will cause imbalance but they’re one time, never to happen again, events. If they give you more energy than they take, then be flexible and enjoy it.

At the end of the day, it comes down to this, decide how your day is going to go. It’s your God-given day, treat it like a gift because tomorrow is not promised.

K. Howard, Author of Beautifully Broken

What is your career plan?

My career path has been a twist and turn of events, changing the course when necessary and adjusting the course as needed. As a young girl, I always loved writing but my career path was limited due to our financial situation.

I chose the career of beauty and fashion through becoming a stylist. 25 years of provision, memories and on-the-job training to hone my entrepreneurial skills.

Then, I fell two-stories and broke my back. This, tragically brought my career to an abrupt end. Which I really could’ve used while I was going through my divorce.

I dabbled in the hospitality business for about five years. I loved the people but the rest of it was a whole lot of work with very little compensation for the work.

Circling back, I found myself at the keyboard, pouring my heart out to God, while I divorced the person who I once loved that became our worst nightmare. As I shared these daily thoughts with my social media audience, these writings started to engage others and help them through their struggles. Though all of our struggles were different, we all shared these common themes: a need for hope again, a place to process these trials through our faith and to stay the course until we were out of the storm, raging inside of us.

Beautifully Broken ministered to me while I was writing it through grief, tragedy after tragedy, financial devastation and the unknown.

The cover with the ceramic piece that represents the Japanese art of Kintsugi. This is the general concept of highlighting or emphasizing imperfections, visualizing mends and seams as an additive or an area to celebrate or focus on, rather than absence or missing pieces, according to Wikipedia.

I’m a momma to 4 beautiful daughters and Nana to 8 grandchildren. I started my writing journey, as an outlet, at the age of 9 when I lost my daddy to a careless murder. I have experienced a journey through life that has not been easy, to say the least. Yet each challenge became a breeding ground of opportunity to share my life’s testimony to God’s amazing grace; reflecting my freedom from the chains that bound me, my victory over unforgiveness, and the God-given ability to overcome many struggles, through the outlet of writing.

As a faith-based author my goal is transparency and intentionality to share my heart with purpose, and given the opportunity, to capture your heart, challenge your mind, and stir your emotions with each stroke of my pen.

My motivation behind the project?

To allow my journey to answer these questions about your journey:

1. Who is God to you?

2. Who are you to God?

3. Why does that matter?

I believe that if we can answer these questions with conviction and confidence, we can maintain our faith through the most diffficult of times.

My hope for the reader/audience?

My prayer is that at the end of this 40 day journey of devotions and journing, the reader would exchange the weight of their worries for the gift of salvation and freedom to clock into an eternal purpose. To allow their creator to repair the brokeness in their lives with His unconditional love.

How did writing this impact me?

This project started with my own difficult season that I was journaling through. I was reminded over and over again that God is cheering me on through all of life’s challenges. He can take what is broken and make it beautiful.

Beautifully Broken is a 40 day devotional that breaks down what we believe, the impact of sin, forgiveness, who God is to us, who we are to Him and why that matters.

Whether you’re new to the faith, struggling with your faith, in the middle of a difficult time or returning to your faith, this devotional will help you be more confident in what you believe and why.

If you would like to join my journey:

Email me at: kelliann@fromthedepthsofkell.com on how to receive a signed copy of Beautifully Broken

or

Click on this link to order from Amazon:

Beautifully Broken: Maintaining Faith During Difficult Times: 40 Day Devotional

https://www.amazon.com/Beautifully-Broken-Maintaining-Difficult-Devotional/dp/197365170X

The Will to Live

What gives you direction in life?

Though life has brought about its various challenges, my faith and family gives me the inspiration and will to live.

There have been seasons in my life that I felt like my life was meaningless and a heavy weight on my shoulders. Not that I want to die or anything but simply that I want the situation or season to pass and pass quickly. Some of those seasons bring a lump to my throat and silent tears roll down my cheeks because the pain is not the kind that one just gets over.

My faith in a God of whom I’ve never seen helps me navigate through those tough seasons. Though not seen, He is ever present with me, from the mountain tops of celebrations to the valleys of despair, He has moved mountains and filled valleys with waves of living waters.

The tangible parts of my journey, the victories, the defeats are that though I may face these seasons alone, I am never lonely. My God is a lamp onto my feet and a light at my path. Though I may only be able to see the first feet or so that the light shines, it guides and directs me in a way that I can trust and believe.

The Chosen Few

List the people you admire and look to for advice…

I mainly pray for wisdom and direction from God. However, when I need a human, I go to my husband first, as he usually has the most insight in the situation because he’s going through it with me.

I have 3 adult children, all daughters, that are my best friends now. We often share with each other what’s happening and ask for feedback and lots of prayers for each other.

My sister, and a few friends, also pray for each other and offer feedback and support.

Not only do I admire each one them but I also respect them and appreciate how willing they are to listen and be there for me when I need them.

To say I’m blessed is an understatement.

Best pet ever vs worst pet ever

What animals make the best/worst pets?

Let me start by saying I don’t think there are “worst pets”. I do, however, believe that owners of what they deem worst pet ever did several or even some of these things:

1. Did not educate themselves on that type of pet.

2. Made an emotional decision to take in the pet without a practical, thought-out way of caring for the pet or how that pets fits with their lifestyle.

3. Did not include veterinary care/needs in their budget to ensure that pet has the healthiest option for their life.

4. Did not consider the adult size version of the baby version of that pet.

5. Did not provide the environment, care attention and training for that pet to thrive.

6. Took the pet in when they did not have a permanent or stable home for themselves.

Responsible pet owners ultimately have the best pets, for these reasons:

1. Educated themselves on what pet best fits their current lifestyle.

2. Included the pet’s needs and healthcare in their budget.

3. Made sure that they had time to spend with, train and make that pet part of the routine of their life.

4. Had pet sitters on hand so that the pet is cared for in the event that they have to handle something away from home. Similar to what parents do when they need to do something without their kids.

5. Sought to understand the temperament of that pet so that pet feels safe and secure with them and other pets, kids and people in the home.

All pets are wonderful when they’re chosen with knowledge, commitment and care.

Dear Kelliann…

Write a letter to your 100-year-old self.

What a legacy we have, four beautiful, loving, God-fearing daughters, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. You have lived a full, though challenging life. You have prepared your heart, mind and soul to run to your heavenly father’s arms. All of your prayers, studies, servitude and love for God will come to fruition soon. Everything you ever worried about will make sense as soon as you are absent from the body and present with Christ.

Soon, you will rest for all of eternity. Soon, there will be no more tears, no more pain, no more sorrow, death, suffering, sickness or disease.

Soon, very soon, you will be reunited with many loved ones but most importantly, you will see the one you have worshiped your whole adult life, face-to-face. Joy, beyond comprehension, will be yours for all of eternity. True love will wrapping you in His loving arms. You will see that not one hurt was wasted.

You have waited 81 years to see what has been unseen here, in this world. The supernatural will become your reality. What a glorious day that will be.

Love,

Your 54 yr old self

P.S. It was all worth it.

Insert eye roll here…

Are you superstitious?

The short answer? No. A little more detail? Fine. My mom’s side of the family was incredibly superstitious. To the point of it disrupting our lives. From black cats crossing our path to the numbers 13 and 666, they backed up from all of it. Actually, displayed fear in the confrontation of any of these superstitious ideologies. I can honestly say, I never gave these superstitions any power. Every time these adults shrunk back from broken mirrors that supposedly give you seven years of bad luck to stepping on crack will break your mother’s back, I rolled my eyes, like, “Here we go again.”

Can I just tell you that not one of these superstitions came to fruition. Not. One.

If you struggle with superstition, let me challenge you to inviting the supernatural into your life. The three in one package:

1. Believe God exists

2. Accept Jesus as your Savior from sin and death.

3. Invite the Holy Spirit in to guide and give you wisdom.

The real power is in the supernatural. They aren’t looking to trip you up at your first mistake. Nor are they waiting to dump curses and bad luck on you. They are available to give you life to the full. A life full of blessings and promises that are available to all those that believe. A life full of wisdom to all who ask for it. Faith, hope and love are waiting for you. I am a first hand witness that though the supernatural can’t be seen it can be experienced and it provides shelter, safety and direction for all that life throws at you.

Superstitions only have the power that you give over to them. The supernatural has power that they share with you.

If there is anyone wanting to know more about the supernatural power, feel free to contact me at: kelliann@fromthedepthsofkell.com

May God bless you and make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you.

These are 3 of my favorite things

What are three objects you couldn’t live without?

I like to think I’m pretty simple. I don’t need much to have joy and happiness, however, there 3 things/objects that I prefer to not live without:

1. My family. Whether they be blood or non-blood, I can’t go a day without enjoying their company. I love hearing what’s going on in their lives, their dreams, their concerns and whatever is at the forefront of their mind.

2. My Bible. I read my Bible everyday. It brings me peace, wisdom, direction and knowledge in perspective to what is going on in my life. I find myself in God’s presence each time that I read, study and meditate on the word of God.

3. My dog. He’s the most needy and demanding living thing in my house but he’s also the most loving, loyal and comforting little guy at the same time. He’s always excited to see me. He’s a lot like me in that he loves our family and gets so happy when they come over. He lays with me every morning while I read my Bible.

I enjoy many things as they come in and out of my life. These 3 favorites of mine are my constants that I would find hard to live without. I’m so grateful for God to give me so much in this small list of things.

My kids, my life, my reward

What experiences in life helped you grow the most?

I’m a girl mom

Having children has taught me so much about life. Each one of my girls brought their own set of lessons for me to learn. I thank God every day that He entrusted them to me. My eldest taught me patience, my next taught me peace, my third taught me joy and my youngest brought me a new perspective on my faith. I am so grateful for the sweet reward of being a girl mom.

Goodbye

Describe a phase in life that was difficult to say goodbye to.

The most difficult goodbye I ever experienced was driving to Kentucky, with my uncle, to my dad’s funeral at 9 years old.

“Old as she was she still missed her daddy sometimes.” Gloria Naylor

This was my first experience with the death of a loved one or death at all. My dad was murdered in his home. Allegedly, by some of his business associates. My dad was shot, execution style, point blank range to his forehead. Then put in a black garbage bag and tossed into a ditch a few miles from his home, according to the police report.

It was too much for a little girl to process. He had a veiled casket due to them not being able to fully reconstruct his face. I said, goodbye to my weekend visits, our bedtime calls and ever hearing my dad’s voice again. Nothing was really the same after that difficult goodbye.

Adulting is hard yet rewarding

What is the biggest challenge you will face in the next six months?

In the next six months, I will begin my masters degree program and prepare my family for buying our first home together, as a married couple. My husband is adopting our youngest daughter. Let’s just say it’s going to be a busy year, for sure.

These things are challenging but the reward upon completion is beyond what I could have thought or imagined, for my younger self. All of the hard work, discipline, dedication and sacrifice was worth it to get here.

It’s hard work, to not try to keep up with our peers. We had to wait to do things that others have done for years. The dedication to the goal requires discipline and focus on the completion of the goals. We had to sacrifice many things that seemed like a need at the time but in reality those things were just a list of wants, that we did just fine without.

Challenges are opportunities to overcome, to grow, to lead and to wait on something better than what you initially had or wanted. I’m up for the challenges life brings my way. Are you?

Girl, you’re gonna make it!

What advice would you give to your teenage self?

Me at 2 years old

Everything you’re about to endure is going to give you the tools to handle the challenges in your future. You are in training for the battle of your life. You are not a victim, you are a warrior, for such a time as this.

Keep moving forward no matter what is in front of you. Press on, press in and trust God with your whole heart. He will be the only relationship that does not let you down. Even in those darkest hours, when you feel as though God has abandoned you, I assure you He has not.

Don’t be afraid to take risks, make mistakes or try new things. Even if you mess up, God can use it and flip the script so long as your end goal is to serve Him and your faith all the days of your life.

You will hit many battles along your timeline of events but the blessings in between, your children and grandchildren will be what gives you the strength and courage to do really hard things.

Whatever you do hold onto hope, do not let anything steal your peace and do not allow anyone to take up free rent space in your head. Read your Bible, go to Church, serve every chance you get.

Save your money while you’re young. Educate yourself on the difference between needs and wants. Needs are water, food, shelter, clothing and a healthy, peaceful home. Wants are desires of the heart. Those wants will come in due time, nothing is as immediate as you think at the time.

Give yourself time to process for at least 24 hours on big decisions and big expenses. It’s interesting how giving yourself space between a want and the actual cost of your time, talents and resources will save you from buyer’s remorse.

Finally, girl, you’re gonna make it!

Love,

Your Future Self

Family First but that dog…

Who are your favorite people to be around?

My family is the most important to me. I’ll start with my girls. I have four incredibly talented, beautiful, smart and daughters. I am so proud to be their momma. I have such a wonderful relationship with each of them. I am so blessed that God would allow me to be a part of who they are today. Being around them individually or all together fills my heart to the full.

Next, my grandchildren are my legacy’s future. Each one of them having their unique gifts and talents. I love hearing their laughter as we sit around eating good food, playing games inside or playing sports outside. What a joy each one of them brings to my life.

My husband is my safe, happy place, where I can be me. He rolls with the good, the bad and the ugly with me. There is nothing we can’t do together. Yet, we each have our individual stuff too but it doesn’t separate us, if that makes sense. Even when we’re doing our own thing, I feel close to Him.

But that little dog of mine. Who would’ve known that this little 14 lb dog would bring loads and loads of joy into our home.

My home is my favorite place to be and my family are my favorite ones to love.

Our newest grandson and my 2nd oldest daughter