Can you imagine waters flowing through a desert and how refreshing that would be? I find myself in seasons of desert-like dryness and just when I think I can hardly take it, the Lord, floods me with His refreshing waters of loving-kindness. He restores my soul. He reminds me of His promises to me, that we are in a covenant that cannot be broken.
It is hard to remember a promise in the middle of a dry season. We are stretched, tested and tried. Often being brought to the edge of ourselves. Then we notice something? A trickle of water coming through the rock of our hearts, that have hardened, become jaded, disappointments, betrayal closed us off from everything, sometimes, including our promise.
Fortunately, for us, God reminds us ever-so-gently, that we have a promise to focus on IN THE DESERT. No matter what it looks like, feels like or be like, God will fulfill His promises, beloved. Let the refreshing waters of His promise, His covenant, with you, restore your soul. Let His truth flow through the desert places of your heart. Do not let the dangers of the desert, let you lose sight of the floodgates of promise that flow through the desert like a river.
Lord, help me, remember who You are, who I am to You, and the promises that will get me through those challenging times in life. Amen.
My career path has been a twist and turn of events, changing the course when necessary and adjusting the course as needed. As a young girl, I always loved writing but my career path was limited due to our financial situation.
I chose the career of beauty and fashion through becoming a stylist. 25 years of provision, memories and on-the-job training to hone my entrepreneurial skills.
Then, I fell two-stories and broke my back. This, tragically brought my career to an abrupt end. Which I really could’ve used while I was going through my divorce.
I dabbled in the hospitality business for about five years. I loved the people but the rest of it was a whole lot of work with very little compensation for the work.
Circling back, I found myself at the keyboard, pouring my heart out to God, while I divorced the person who I once loved that became our worst nightmare. As I shared these daily thoughts with my social media audience, these writings started to engage others and help them through their struggles. Though all of our struggles were different, we all shared these common themes: a need for hope again, a place to process these trials through our faith and to stay the course until we were out of the storm, raging inside of us.
Beautifully Broken ministered to me while I was writing it through grief, tragedy after tragedy, financial devastation and the unknown.
The cover with the ceramic piece that represents the Japanese art of Kintsugi. This is the general concept of highlighting or emphasizing imperfections, visualizing mends and seams as an additive or an area to celebrate or focus on, rather than absence or missing pieces, according to Wikipedia.
I’m a momma to 4 beautiful daughters and Nana to 8 grandchildren. I started my writing journey, as an outlet, at the age of 9 when I lost my daddy to a careless murder. I have experienced a journey through life that has not been easy, to say the least. Yet each challenge became a breeding ground of opportunity to share my life’s testimony to God’s amazing grace; reflecting my freedom from the chains that bound me, my victory over unforgiveness, and the God-given ability to overcome many struggles, through the outlet of writing.
As a faith-based author my goal is transparency and intentionality to share my heart with purpose, and given the opportunity, to capture your heart, challenge your mind, and stir your emotions with each stroke of my pen.
My motivation behind the project?
To allow my journey to answer these questions about your journey:
1. Who is God to you?
2. Who are you to God?
3. Why does that matter?
I believe that if we can answer these questions with conviction and confidence, we can maintain our faith through the most diffficult of times.
My hope for the reader/audience?
My prayer is that at the end of this 40 day journey of devotions and journing, the reader would exchange the weight of their worries for the gift of salvation and freedom to clock into an eternal purpose. To allow their creator to repair the brokeness in their lives with His unconditional love.
How did writing this impact me?
This project started with my own difficult season that I was journaling through. I was reminded over and over again that God is cheering me on through all of life’s challenges. He can take what is broken and make it beautiful.
Beautifully Broken is a 40 day devotional that breaks down what we believe, the impact of sin, forgiveness, who God is to us, who we are to Him and why that matters.
Whether you’re new to the faith, struggling with your faith, in the middle of a difficult time or returning to your faith, this devotional will help you be more confident in what you believe and why.
If you would like to join my journey:
Email me at: kelliann@fromthedepthsofkell.com on how to receive a signed copy of Beautifully Broken
or
Click on this link to order from Amazon:
Beautifully Broken: Maintaining Faith During Difficult Times: 40 Day Devotional
Though life has brought about its various challenges, my faith and family gives me the inspiration and will to live.
There have been seasons in my life that I felt like my life was meaningless and a heavy weight on my shoulders. Not that I want to die or anything but simply that I want the situation or season to pass and pass quickly. Some of those seasons bring a lump to my throat and silent tears roll down my cheeks because the pain is not the kind that one just gets over.
My faith in a God of whom I’ve never seen helps me navigate through those tough seasons. Though not seen, He is ever present with me, from the mountain tops of celebrations to the valleys of despair, He has moved mountains and filled valleys with waves of living waters.
The tangible parts of my journey, the victories, the defeats are that though I may face these seasons alone, I am never lonely. My God is a lamp onto my feet and a light at my path. Though I may only be able to see the first feet or so that the light shines, it guides and directs me in a way that I can trust and believe.
List the people you admire and look to for advice…
I mainly pray for wisdom and direction from God. However, when I need a human, I go to my husband first, as he usually has the most insight in the situation because he’s going through it with me.
I have 3 adult children, all daughters, that are my best friends now. We often share with each other what’s happening and ask for feedback and lots of prayers for each other.
My sister, and a few friends, also pray for each other and offer feedback and support.
Not only do I admire each one them but I also respect them and appreciate how willing they are to listen and be there for me when I need them.
What a legacy we have, four beautiful, loving, God-fearing daughters, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. You have lived a full, though challenging life. You have prepared your heart, mind and soul to run to your heavenly father’s arms. All of your prayers, studies, servitude and love for God will come to fruition soon. Everything you ever worried about will make sense as soon as you are absent from the body and present with Christ.
Soon, you will rest for all of eternity. Soon, there will be no more tears, no more pain, no more sorrow, death, suffering, sickness or disease.
Soon, very soon, you will be reunited with many loved ones but most importantly, you will see the one you have worshiped your whole adult life, face-to-face. Joy, beyond comprehension, will be yours for all of eternity. True love will wrapping you in His loving arms. You will see that not one hurt was wasted.
You have waited 81 years to see what has been unseen here, in this world. The supernatural will become your reality. What a glorious day that will be.
What movies or TV series have you watched more than 5 times?
Based on a graphic novel, this post apocalyptic drama series captured my attention in 2010, the first year it aired. I was immediately taken captive of the storyline. Being an avid reader I purchased the graphic novels to get the gist of where the series was going. I watched every Sunday evening, that it was on, for twelve years straight. Even if I had to record it, I never missed one episode. My friends and family had attended many of The Walking Dead (TWD) parties that I hosted.
I had a hand full of die hard, that we communicated via text, throughout the episode each week. Only a couple of rules, during commercials only and no spoiler alerts.
We hardly ever missed The Talking Dead, a discussion show that aired immediately after TTD to dissect and attempt to predict what would happen next. It also included various actors, writers, producers, fans & other people in entertainment that would chime in, share their on set experiences and frustrations about the current episode. These TTD episodes only enriched the captivity the show had on many fans including myself. There was a common thing that would happen that if one of the actors would be on the couch meant they were up for be killed off the show. This made for a nail biter, wondering who was ousted next.
I found myself getting attached to the characters, obsessed with where the story would go next and always comparing and contrasting the differences between the TV series and the graphic novels.
What’s interesting about this obsession is I really am not a TV watcher. It took an apocalypse to get my undivided attention. People would ask me why I became so obsessed with TWD. I don’t think I was obsessed with zombies, well, because zombies are not real nor would I want them to be. What I found to be so fascinating was the fight to preserve humanity in the most inhumane environment imaginable. The desire each character had to try to define what their new normal would look like. The concept isn’t much different than what we go through in our personal environments. Instead of zombies, we have peer pressure, incredible, increasing debt loads, job stress, and long commutes to those jobs that feel like they are slowly devouring our most precious moments with family, friends and our home life.
What’s the “zombie” in your life? When are you going to fight to preserve what’s most important and valuable to you? What are those things that money can’t buy, that time you can’t ever get back and the broken relationships that need mending?
Which animal would you compare yourself to and why?
Life is funny sometimes. I find it hard to laugh though. I find myself always on guard, protective of my territory yet nurturing to my family and those that are in my circle. I am the King/Queen of my jungle. If you try to invade my territory it will be the last one you ever attempt. My roar is a warning to leave me alone, what happens after that is all on you. I am in solitude even in a pride of other lions. That solitude isn’t loneliness it is simply what brings me peace. Being alone isn’t a bad thing.
My creator is often referred to as the Lion and the lamb. I admire that imagery, it gives me something to reach for every day. I want to roar like a Lion when my life is in danger. Equally, as a lamb amongst its flock, I want to be a living sacrifice in obedience to my shepherd, knowing one day, my life will be laid down to rest. Understanding that, whether lion or lamb, my purpose is to be teachable, yet a leader, as well as a servant to the ones that represent my legacy.
I have some scars from battle but, in spite of them all, I never lost my roar.
I’m currently taking a class to be certified in AI (artificial intelligence). As a communication major, I’m learning that AI is not only not going away but it plays a very significant role in my career path.
The big misconception is that AI is created to take over human jobs. This could not be further from the truth. AI will relieve people from tedious, repetitive tasks that keep career people from the meat of their positions.
Think of it like this, you’re going to college to become a journalist but you have, what they call, your general education or core classes to complete before you get to your major-specific classes. AI works on your core classes while you work on your major-specific classes. Even more so, AI tests you on what you know on the core classes, then tutors you on the area that you’re weak in. That is a simple visual of how AI will not only improve production but coach/train people to be their best version of themselves in the workplace.
AI is only as smart as the programmer that feeds it its data. The human brain is so much more intrinsic than any AI tool will ever be. We need not be intimidated by it, rather be curious enough to find out how it can be of use to you.
I like to think I’m pretty simple. I don’t need much to have joy and happiness, however, there 3 things/objects that I prefer to not live without:
1. My family. Whether they be blood or non-blood, I can’t go a day without enjoying their company. I love hearing what’s going on in their lives, their dreams, their concerns and whatever is at the forefront of their mind.
2. My Bible. I read my Bible everyday. It brings me peace, wisdom, direction and knowledge in perspective to what is going on in my life. I find myself in God’s presence each time that I read, study and meditate on the word of God.
3. My dog. He’s the most needy and demanding living thing in my house but he’s also the most loving, loyal and comforting little guy at the same time. He’s always excited to see me. He’s a lot like me in that he loves our family and gets so happy when they come over. He lays with me every morning while I read my Bible.
I enjoy many things as they come in and out of my life. These 3 favorites of mine are my constants that I would find hard to live without. I’m so grateful for God to give me so much in this small list of things.
Describe a phase in life that was difficult to say goodbye to.
The most difficult goodbye I ever experienced was driving to Kentucky, with my uncle, to my dad’s funeral at 9 years old.
“Old as she was she still missed her daddy sometimes.” Gloria Naylor
This was my first experience with the death of a loved one or death at all. My dad was murdered in his home. Allegedly, by some of his business associates. My dad was shot, execution style, point blank range to his forehead. Then put in a black garbage bag and tossed into a ditch a few miles from his home, according to the police report.
It was too much for a little girl to process. He had a veiled casket due to them not being able to fully reconstruct his face. I said, goodbye to my weekend visits, our bedtime calls and ever hearing my dad’s voice again. Nothing was really the same after that difficult goodbye.
My family is the most important to me. I’ll start with my girls. I have four incredibly talented, beautiful, smart and daughters. I am so proud to be their momma. I have such a wonderful relationship with each of them. I am so blessed that God would allow me to be a part of who they are today. Being around them individually or all together fills my heart to the full.
Next, my grandchildren are my legacy’s future. Each one of them having their unique gifts and talents. I love hearing their laughter as we sit around eating good food, playing games inside or playing sports outside. What a joy each one of them brings to my life.
My husband is my safe, happy place, where I can be me. He rolls with the good, the bad and the ugly with me. There is nothing we can’t do together. Yet, we each have our individual stuff too but it doesn’t separate us, if that makes sense. Even when we’re doing our own thing, I feel close to Him.
But that little dog of mine. Who would’ve known that this little 14 lb dog would bring loads and loads of joy into our home.
My home is my favorite place to be and my family are my favorite ones to love.
Tell us about your favorite pair of shoes, and where they’ve taken you.
All my life shoes have felt like a burden. I found that my toes sifting white sandy beaches are the best thing to ever wrap around my soul. Soles separate me from the warmth of the sand. Give me a beach where I can rest my weary head and sift all of my cares away. Let these bare soles take me where there’s no phone service and no shoes required.
I remember the day He reached me on His mission to save me. I was 16 years old. First, I received a King James Bible, with my name inscribed on it, for my birthday. Mind you, I was not raised in a Christian home.
Next, I read the forward entitled, “Jesus: Man for All Time”. It blew my mind that nobody was talking about Jesus, at least around me. I became extremely sensitive to the words I consumed that day. I sensed a reverence towards this man, Jesus, of whom I knew very little about that day.
About a year after that, I was at a Hallmark store and saw a plaque with the poem, “A letter from a Friend”. I’ll include a copy of it at the end.
Jesus reached me through word, the Bible through revelation by educating me on Who He is. It was like I had this divine appointment on my calendar that I didn’t put there but somehow knew I needed to be there. Finally, through a poem on a plaque, in a Hallmark store.
How else would he reach a writers’ heart but through these means of communication. He was in relentless pursuit of me, while I was as far away as I could get from Him.
And that was just the betrothal stages 🥰
He sealed the deal with a Sermon Series on a Father to the Fatherless in 1989. This was so significant because my father was murdered when I was 9 years old. I learned that I was no longer fatherless, no longer orphaned but adopted into God’s family and I was never as alone as I often thought.
So, don’t, nobody, try to tell me Jesus isn’t who He says He is. He pursued me, when I needed Him the most. What a gift it is to know Jesus, deeply, intimately and intentionally.
My dream home is not a structure but an atmosphere. Where peace welcomes and love embraces everyone that crosses its threshold. A place where God is revered, honored and glorified. Where unity reigns, joy strengthens and wisdom leads. When this atmosphere resides in any structure, my dream home becomes a reality.
Are there any activities or hobbies you’ve outgrown or lost interest in over time?
No longer in use
It’s not that I outgrew or lost interest it’s because I fell and broke my back. I used to play softball, volleyball, wallyball, dance and teach a dance class.
After I broke my back, all of those things became almost impossible to do or even if I could, I feared re-injury.
It’s challenging when my kids, friends or family members treat me like I have no clue what it’s like to be in a sport of any kind. I want to scream from the roof tops of what I used to be able to do. However, I find myself sinking into those thoughts and feelings because no one really cares what I used to do. They only care about what I can do now.
It’s like I’m someone I used to know, as if this new version of me is more like an antique and the old version of me is brand new. They’re both me. I need to accept that and just move in to the next season of my seasoned life.
I just need a little break in between getting my BSCOM and go after my Masters.
College came later for me but I didn’t want that to be an excuse not to do well. Juggling full-time work, family & managing my household was a challenge but mission accomplished.
GPS The Global Positioning System was opened for use by civilian aircraft
Eric Orkin launches Delphi Management Systems, the first comprehensive meetings and group sales, marketing, and catering software for the hospitality industry. It became Newmarket Software in 1985. (2023 Ball C.)
The invention of GPS was and is a life changing event for me. Fumbling with paper maps or remembering to print out my “turn-by-turn” instructions made it challenging to travel alone.
GPS, however, especially now that I can hook it up to my truck, is so convenient & safe. It helps me gauge timing, stops, locate hotels, food or just about any stop or need, on the way to my destination. Such a timesaver and stress reducer when I am alerted to accidents and delays ahead and the helpful rerouting around those delays, takes the guesswork out of these minor inconveniences.
Had to really think about this one but hands down the GPS is my pick.
Describe your most ideal day from beginning to end.
God paints the sky
Waking up to the sound of the ocean coming through my sliding glass door, from my bedroom balcony, with my eyes still closed, thanking God in advance for this glorious day. I sit on the balcony watching the radiant colors of morning burst through the horizon, as daylight pushes back the darkness of night.
My house staff knocks on the door with my morning coffee and breakfast. My dogs sit next to me while I hang out with God and His masterpiece of a display. Another knock at the door, it’s time for my morning massage.
My library faces the ocean. This is where my laptop and I engage for the next writing piece. The ocean reminds me of who is charge. It inspires humility in that, no matter what I’m going through, God is bigger. My writing time comes to an end after a few hours, when the flow of ideas and rabbit trails slowly diminish.
Now it’s time to prepare for the family to come and enjoy the pool. We play and splash with lots of giggles and cannonballs. Nothing pressing us more than our sweet time together.
We all head in after sunset. I’m cooking in my custom designed kitchen while everyone sits at the breakfast bar or table. Some are reading, others are playing cards or board games and occasionally one or two come in to learn how to cook one of my recipes.
The liveliness of my family and pets fill the room. My heart is full and my soul is satisfied because God has blessed me far beyond what I could’ve ever imagined.
How do significant life events or the passage of time influence your perspective on life?
When I was a child, I couldn’t wait to be an adult so that I could be in charge of my life. I missed out on a lot of life events chasing adulthood.
My kids and grandkids (not pictured because we didn’t have them yet, Waylon and Khloe)
When I was a young adult, I yearned for the simplicity of being a child; When my biggest concern was counting down the days of summer I had left to go back to school; When my best friend and I had a fight; What I was wearing to the school dance; How was I going to convince my mom for an hour later curfew or the big test I was having in class.
Now that I have some life experience behind me, I cherish the moments that made me the mom, nana and wife I am today. All of which I learned the hard way, most of the time.
Now that I’m moving into my 55th year of life, realizing that I have much less days in front of me than behind me; it’s so important for me to make an impact that leaves a legacy that my children and grandchildren are proud of. The moments I took for granted as a child now flicker through my mind as they’re happening, as if I were watching them on the big screen.
My perspective has changed from hope and planning for a future to gratitude and preparing for my passing. From never thinking about what I would leave behind if I die today to thinking about it almost daily. All of which is good. I am blessed with children and grandchildren that continue to give me moments to cherish & a husband who never leaves me wondering if I’m loved. I want to leave a legacy that my family finds worthy enough to talk about long after I’m gone.
Something on your “to-do list” that never gets done.
I always have at least one incomplete writing piece waiting to be finished. There is one in particular that has been on my to-do list for almost 10 years. It’s a trilogy about a superhero that saves humanity from its own self destruction. It’s been at least 5 years since I’ve added anything to it.
I get frustrated with myself because I am processing ideas to write about almost constantly. I have my story concepts in notebooks, my phone notes, my voice recorder and journals.
Part of my struggle is the fear of my ideas being rejected. I really need to just write it and not worry about what others think about it. Time to let it flow.
From the Depths of Kell 