Nobody Makes It Out Alive Week 4 Nothing wasted Day 5 Embrace the present

“If you decide that it’s a bad thing to worship GOD, then choose a god you’d rather serve—and do it today. Choose one of the gods your ancestors worshiped from the country beyond The River, or one of the gods of the Amorites, on whose land you’re now living. As for me and my family, we’ll worship GOD.”
‭‭Joshua‬ ‭24:15‬ ‭MSG‬‬

Every day we wake up here on this earth we we wake up with a choice. Will we embrace the day with God as the leader or the co-pilot?

We cannot embrace this day, fully seize the day if we do not understand the mission. Like I have stated before, we are on loan to the world until our creator calls us home to heaven. Each day we are given here on earth has purpose. A very specific, intentionally-designed purpose, a journey designed just for you. You will impact other people and their journey. Embracing your daily moment means putting God in the driver’s seat of the day while learning and living out your purpose. If you have not learned what your purpose is then that is step one. Find out what makes you feel alive and accomplished. Find out what keeps you going when everything in you wants to quit.

The best way to find out what your purpose is, is to get out of the driver’s seat first thing, the minute you open your eyes, before you pull the covers back or your feet hit the ground, simply offer God the driver’s seat and get out of His way. Humbly seek His will for the day. You will be surprised at how quickly God leads you in the best of the best scenic routes in life. Will there be bumpy roads along the way? Yes. Will there be some fatalities? Yes. But wrapping your arms around God while He is driving is much safer than taking your hands off the wheel to reach for God in the middle of life’s crisis’s.

You are more equipped to face this day than you give yourself credit for. God is right there, ready to take the keys so you can enjoy the view, learn the best route and reach your final destination. God is such a gentleman and believes in the freedom to choose Him out of sheer trust and love, that He’s not going to snatch those keys out of your hand.

Lord, we can be such control freaks that rather than embrace our days we put a white-knuckle-grip on them. Help us choose You and rest in handing over our keys and let You take us where we need to go. Whether it be mentally, emotionally or physically, we choose You to lead the way. This world is full of distractions, detours and even disasters but when I choose to embrace You, I choose to embrace my days with eternity in mind. Amen.

‬‬ “My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God’s Spirit. Then you won’t feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day. Why don’t you choose to be led by the Spirit and so escape the erratic compulsions of a law-dominated existence?”
‭‭Galatians‬ ‭5:16-18‬ ‭MSG‬‬

Nobody Makes It Out Alive. Week 4 Nothing wasted Day 4 Accept the past

“If we claim, “We don’t have any sin,” we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. But if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from everything we’ve done wrong. If we claim, “We have never sinned,” we make him a liar and his word is not in us.”
‭‭1 John‬ ‭1:8-10‬ ‭CEB‬‬

If we are to accept our past, we must admit to what has happened and face it. I have also learned that holding onto any unforgiveness towards myself, God, or other people will cause my mind to give that person or situation free rent space in my head.

If we are focused on the things from the past, that we cannot change, it robs us of giving attention to our present moments that actually have the most potential for better choices. In this present moment, we have the opportunity to apply what we have learned from the past rather than repeat the mistakes we have made. However, if we beat ourselves up over what we have done in the past, it will take up mental space to accomplish what we can do with our present moment.

We cannot talk about accepting the past without discussing the injustice, abuse and unfair treatment from others. Especially, those that were supposed to love us or vowed to be there for us forever. Betrayal like that hurts, causes wounds in the heart that are hard to process. Those wounds become battle scars for the next battle. I hope this gives you a little groundwork for healing when I share this about forgiveness.

Let me tell you what forgiveness does not mean:

It does not mean that what happened is okay with you or that you condone the behavior.
It does not mean that you have to keep a relationship with this person.
It does not mean that they are set free.
What it does mean:
You do trust God to bring justice to the situation and allow the battle to belong to the Lord.
You get to set the boundaries. You are in total control of how, if at all, this person is back in your life.
You get that free rent space back in your head so you can live your best life, right now. You are free.

Lord, there are no secrets between us, yet we keep things from you as if there were. Help us include you in our offenses from the sin in our own lives as well as the unfairness, injustice and hurts brought in our lives from others. Help us forgive quickly, accept our past for what it is and live in the present with wiser perspective. Amen.

“Let all bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander be removed from you, along with all malice. And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.”
‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭4:31-32‬ ‭CSB‬‬‬‬

Nobody Makes It Out Alive Week 4 Nothing Wasted Day 3 Look forward to the future

“Let God grant what is in your heart and fulfill all your plans. Then we will rejoice that you’ve been helped. We will fly our flags in the name of our God. Let the LORD fulfill all your requests!”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭20:4-5‬ ‭CEB‬‬

I love planning. My favorite thing is to sit down and make lists to check off for the day and conquer the list. I also like having a full calendar to conquer. It makes me feel accomplished and maximizes my waking hours. Unless, of course, life throws a curve ball to the face and nothing or only part of the task lists get done. Then I beat myself up mentally and verbally until guilt takes over and I feel worthless. What I have to do is find balance in the planning, allow flexibility but, most importantly, I need God and His heart at the forefront of my planning. It took me years to apply this. I mean after all, I’m a fairly good planner, I want to succeed, I want everyone around me to succeed but the reality is that if God is not in on it, it can be a really good plan but that does not make it a God plan.

Does this mean we stop planning and just throw caution to the wind? Lord knows I would discombobulate at the thought of that (insert nervous giggle here). What it does mean is that when God is on our mind and pleasing Him matters more than our plans, our plans will align more and more with His plans. Over time we learn to adjust to the surprises along life’s journey so that we can prioritize properly according to God’s plans and recognize divine appointments over man made appointments.

The most important part of our plans is including God in them. The next most important part is making room for adjustments. Lastly, make time for rest. Us planners can pack a schedule full of good things but that doesn’t necessarily make them God things.

Lord, You are the uncreated one that created everyone. We are your greatest plan. It only makes sense that finding out what plan and purpose you have chosen for us will succeed. Help us align with that unique purpose You designed for us. Amen.

“Mortals make elaborate plans, but GOD has the last word. Humans are satisfied with whatever looks good; GOD probes for what is good. Put GOD in charge of your work, then what you’ve planned will take place.

When GOD approves of your life, even your enemies will end up shaking your hand.

We plan the way we want to live, but only GOD makes us able to live it.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭16:1-3, 7, 9‬ ‭MSG‬‬

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Nobody Makes It Out Alive Week 4: Nothing Wasted Day 2: Live in the present

“Who among you by worrying can add a single moment to your life?”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭6:27‬ ‭CEB‬‬

Living in the present is much more achievable if we can leave the past behind us and plan for the future without worrying about the future.

Whether you have a train wreck behind you or sweet little bunny path full of sweetness for a past, your past is done. All you can do is embrace what is in front of you because as we learned from our grief week, it is all temporary. If we dwell on and beat ourselves up about the past or stress about the future, we rob ourselves of what is in front of us.

We can learn a lot from the past by simply pulling out that “ugly journal” we discussed in prior weeks and write down every time we freaked out about something that ended up turning out better than we ever imagined. When you start to stress, read and remind yourself that everything is going to be okay. I also like to add that it may not be the okay I planned for but it will be okay.

When you find yourself uttering the words, “could’ve”, “should’ve” or “would’ve”, stop, say out loud “Not productive, not going to help me.” Rather than verbally bash yourself and put yourself in a position to not be able to change what’s done, give yourself advice on how you will do it differently. That’s all you can do is learn from it and do it differently next time. Then trust God in the process.

By removing the weight of your yesterdays and the heaviness of the uncertainties of tomorrow, from your today, you can live in the present. If you’re a professional worrier, make it a point to become a warrior of prayer. Turn every worry into a conversation with God. Tell Him exactly what you are concerned about and then stick to what is directly in front of you, right now.

Toby Mac once said something so profound that really helped me get the concept of living in the present moment:
“We worry about tomorrow like it’s promised”

Lord, we are a work in progress but we are also your vessel of spreading the good news. Help us be more aware of what we bring into our present moments that do not belong there. Help us focus on the gift of this day and show up for every divine appointment. Amen.

“Therefore, stop worrying about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭6:34‬ ‭CEB‬‬

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Nobody Makes It Out Alive Week 4 Nothing Wasted Day 1 Learn from the past

“The Lord is the one who made a road through the sea for you to cross. You went on a dry path in the middle of the deep water. He led the enemy’s great army, with their chariots and their horses, to chase you. They all fell down and the water drowned them. Their lives finished, like the flame of a lamp that stops burning.”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭43:16-17‬ ‭EASY‬‬

If there is but one thing that I can testify to is this: God does not waste one thing. God has the absolute most stunning track record. No matter what I have experienced, the comeback has always been better than the setback.

We can learn from the things in our past. Especially, if we consider our survival rate at this point is 100%. To clarify, if you are breathing, you have survived 100% of what is behind you. This week our goal is to go from surviving to thriving.

If I am to be honest, I forget that in the process of the issue, challenge, loss or whatever is causing me concern in the moment. I still worry myself over things that have not happened. I feel the weight of the decisions being made. In the face a moment, not knowing, what was about to crush me, in ways I had never imagined. Yet, every time I get out of the way and God has HIS way, He makes a way, out of no way.

What I considered a set back, at the time, I look back and see God setting me up for the next comeback. I can label certain seasons a victory now but when I was in the middle of it, it sure did not seem like a victory. What I have learned while being more mindful of God’s track record, than mine, is that He does not waste a hurt, a struggle or my emotional pain. Everything in my timeline is shaping me for my next.

We, as Christians, get blindsided when we think that once we believe in Jesus, that we somehow get a problem free life and a get out of hell card. We will face problems. (James 1:2-6) We might as well accept that. Let God in on it, if we want the best outcome from it.

We serve a God of passion and purpose. Once we align ourselves with that truth, we get an internal peace that surpasses all understanding. (Philippians 4:6) We experience the gift of peace, from God, in the storm, if our focus is on Him. But if we focused on avoiding or eliminating the storm our peace slips away. (Isaiah 26:3)

Lord, help us lean not on our own understanding when life throws us problems. Help us lean into Your presence and promises so that Your peace and strength can carry us through those storms in life. Help us turn it all over to you for our own good. Amen.

“The Lord did all that for you, but now he says, ‘Forget those things that happened a long time ago. Do not think about past events. Look! Now I will do something that is new! It is already beginning to happen. Surely, you can recognize it. Yes, I will make a road through the desert. I will make streams in the wilderness.”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭43:18-19‬ ‭EASY‬‬

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Nobody Makes It Out Alive Week 3 Day 7 Grief: New normal

“King David longed to go to Absalom, for David had finished grieving over Amnon’s death.”
‭‭2 Samuel‬ ‭13:39‬ ‭CSB‬‬

When we lose someone we love or a season comes to an end that brought us much comfort and joy, we grieve. How we grieve matters. Avoiding grief will catch up with us eventually. If you are reading this and have not read Days 1-6 of week 3, I highly recommend doing so now. Do not avoid the process of grieving.

Before you go thinking that I do not understand loss, let me share a few of my most painful losses. At 4 years old, I watched our home burn to the ground with all of our belongings in it. Shortly after, my parents divorced. At 9 years old my father was murdered. At 10 years old my mother married my first of many abusers. I have lost people I loved to suicide, I thought that I could have saved. I have had 2 miscarriages. I lost my grandparents, my mom and my father figure within 5 years of of each other. I lost my best friend of 40 years unexpectedly to a heart condition (she was 50). I have lost relationships I thought would never end. Friendships with people and families had come to an abrupt end with no conversation as to why. I have known great success and great loss to the point that I feared being homeless.

In all of that pain that I experienced, of losing so much, I realized how temporary anything but God is. I have accepted that death is inevitable for anything or anyone that carries breath in their lungs. Death will take me by surprise but it does not have to take me down to the point of losing my life before my time is up. There is no way to escape death. We will experience it ourselves one day and will likely experience losing someone we know and or love to it. The most hopeful thing I’ve ever been offered is an eternity beyond this life; an eternity with the one who created me and loaned me to earth for a time; an eternity with no more tears, no more sadness, no more sickness, no more broken relationships and no more death. We are all on loan here from the moment of conception to death. Maybe that’s why the two greatest commandments are:

to love God with all of your heart, all of your mind and all of your soul. 2. To love your neighbor as yourself. With those two commandments the goal is to know our Maker’s voice when He calls us home. We want to treat everyone kindly while they’re on loan to us because we never know when their time is up.

In my opinion, birth is a sign of God’s gift of life while death is reminder of the timeline most of pay no attention to. As a believer in God, I can accept the timeline He gives me because I know it doesn’t end here. Therefore I must tell others that are still here about eternity and share this hope with them.

Lord, death is the most painful part of life, this side of eternity. Help us honor the living and the time our loved ones were on loan to us. Help us process grief in a way that brings honor to the ones we say goodbye to, for now. Amen.

“Then David got up and he washed himself. He put on clean clothes and special oil that had a good smell. He went into the Lord ‘s house to worship him. Then he returned to his own house and he asked for food. They gave it to him and he ate it.”
‭‭2 Samuel‬ ‭12:20‬ ‭EASY‬‬

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Nobody Makes It Out Alive Week 3 Day 6 Grief: Acceptance

“There is a right time for everything that we do under the sun. There is a time to be born. And there is a time to die. There is a time to plant seeds. Then the seeds will grow and they will become plants. And there is a time to pick the plants.”
‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭3:1-2‬ ‭EASY‬‬
“There is a time to weep. And there is a time to laugh. There is a time to be sad. And there is a time to dance.”
‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭3:4‬ ‭EASY‬‬

When the fog begins to lift, reality sets in, and we’re squinting to find the light in the darkness, this is the beginning of acceptance. It is not stable at first but each day we take a step in the direction of our reality is a step closer to living with this loss. It does not mean that we won’t experience the other steps in the grieving process ever again. It just means they will reintroduce themselves with different levels of intensity at different lengths of time every time We are reminded that our loved one is not here.

What it does mean is that I loved this person while they were here and I will miss them deeply. My faith tells me, reminds me of the timeline they had, I have and others too. My faith also reminds me that I will see them again. I rest in this hope while I build up the strength to live life without them. I find ways to remember them well and share the impact that they had on my life. I choose to live and embrace the people I have around me and let them in on my pain. I choose to not isolate and choose to embrace the plan and purpose God has for me while I walk out my own timeline. None of us know when our time is up. Nobody makes it out alive, therefore, this loss should come as no surprise, it absolutely catches us off guard and it does come with pain and sorrow. While I work it all out through grieving what and who I have loved when it’s their time to go I will hope again and cherish the memories.

Lord, help me accept my loss in a way that shows my deep love for them while acknowledging the empty space they leave behind. Lord, fill that space with comfort, peace, love and joy. Help me carry on without them as I finish my own journey. Help me allow others permission to grieve how they need to. Help me walk in hope for the future here on earth and hope in eternity. Amen.

“Yes, you will have trouble like this for a short time. But after that, God will make everything right. He is completely kind and he will always help you. Because you belong to Christ, God has chosen you to live with him in heaven for ever. You will join him in that beautiful place. Then God will make you well again. He will make you strong in your spirits. You will be able to stand strongly. Yes, God rules with power for ever! Amen! This is true!”
‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭5:10-11‬ ‭EASY‬‬

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Nobody Makes It Out Alive Week 3 Day 5 Grief: Depression

“I hear your waterfalls make a noise like thunder. It seems like all that water is pouring over me and it knocks me down to the ground.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭42:7‬ ‭EASY‬‬

Depression from loss is normal. It would be odd to not be sad when someone we love so much is no longer with us. It would be out of character to not be sad when a situation we found joy and contentment in has now ended abruptly or unexpectedly. To the same extent that we loved is the extent we will experience sorrow when that person or situation is gone. That sorrow is temporary but cyclical at times. We eventually learn to balance the sadness from our loss with the demands of living.

This becomes a problem when we stay in that sadness and not learn to find away to live without them or the situation. Though everyone grieves at different stages for different lengths of time, we must live, while we grieve. Ease ourselves back into the familiar routines that use up space and time that would be used to rehearse the pain. Part of our healing comes from living again as well as going from surviving our loss to coping with our loss. You might have doubts right now because it’s still fresh but it is possible. So, if you’re trapped in the process of depression, if you’re so immobilized by the pain of your loss that you can hardly get out of bed, make a sandwich or enjoy the many dishes of food brought to you by friends and family, it’s time to find a grief counselor. It’s time to think about asking for help. You are not as alone as you feel. God is with you, weeping with you and there are grief counseling groups, therapists and grief resources available to you. Friends mean well but they’re usually not equipped to help you out of depression. There are coping skills that a professional grief counselor can provide, if you’re willing.

The atmosphere of depression typically sets in the week after all of the arrangements have been made, the services are done, your autopilot has turned off, you do not have to be strong for anyone else, all of the company has gone home and you’re surrounded by food that will spoil before you can finish it, a card-box full of condolences and funeral arrangements. The tears flow and you fall asleep on a tear soaked pillow or worse you choke back the tears because you’re afraid once they start, you won’t be able to stop them.

This depression, this sadness will pass. And when it does, it does not mean that the person you love and lost is forgotten. It means, that you grieved and it’s time to learn how to honor their time here while you honor the time you have left with the ones still here.

Cry as much as your body tells you to. It will release toxins and help cleanse away the pain. Get into a grief group or at least meet with a grief counselor. But whatever you do do not try to battle this alone. Do not let the sadness convince you that you’re alone.

Lord, this stage of grief is so confusing and a blur when we look back on it. Help us reach out when the heaviness of our loss goes from normal, temporary depression to a clinical kind of depression. Trigger something in us to know when to ask for help. Lord, we thank you for never leaving us though we may feel like You’ve abandoned us. Feelings are not fact, they are like an indicator light on the dashboard of our car that help us navigate through our life journey. Help us respond accordingly in the best way, for the best outcome. Amen.

“God will take away all the tears from their eyes. Nobody will ever die again. Nobody will be sad again. Nobody will ever cry. Nobody will have pain again. Everything that made people sad has now gone. That old world has completely gone away.’”
‭‭Revelation‬ ‭21:4‬ ‭EASY‬‬

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Nobody Makes It Out Alive Week 3 Day 4 Grief: Negotiations

“My heart beats fast inside me. Death seems very close, and I am very afraid. I am shaking with fear! My troubles are too much for me. So I say, ‘If I had wings to fly like a dove, I would fly away to a safe place. Yes! I would go far away, and I would live in the wilderness. Selah.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭55:4-7‬ ‭EASY‬‬

Negotiations towards heaven is a heavy, unrealistic step in a desperate, last ditch effort, to avoid the pain that is coming. It is unavoidable and we know it subconsciously but not consciously, yet. There is so much that is unknown and known at the same time. Yet, in our human mind, we have to at least try to avoid what is coming. The deeper the relationship, the deeper the pain. Fear of what life will look like now causes even more retreat in every area of our life. We just need a moment for all of it to stop revealing life without them. So we begin to negotiate what we’re willing to do for God if He would just stop what is happening. We’re hurting so bad and everyone trying to fix us, at this stage, can’t and the only thing to remove the pain is to reverse the loss but deep inside we know that it’s final.

Death is nonnegotiable, unavoidable for us and every living thing, yet we fight it with every ounce of breath we have. In my opinion, we do this because we’re wired for eternity not for the temporary time and space of this world. We have a start date (birth) and an expiration date (death) yet if we are believers this temporary life is not the end. We have hope to see each other once again. Hope in an eternal relationship with God that takes us to our eternal home not our eternal grave.

If you’ve lost a loved one that you’re grieving for right now whether it’s been 2 days or 20 years, it’s okay to cry, it’s okay to miss them, it’s okay to want them to be a part of your right now moments. When it becomes an issue is in when it no longer honors their legacy or the living people around you.

Lord, this is a hard topic. We all will face this. Nobody makes it out of here alive. Help us grieve, Lord as we know You grieve with us. Help us honor the time we have and had with our loved ones. Help us share those memories with the people we still have. Every day is a special gift. Let us choose wisely how we honor the dead amongst the living. Help us truly seize the day as you intended us to. Amen.

“David and his men cried aloud. They continued to cry until they were too weak to cry any more.”
‭‭1 Samuel‬ ‭30:4‬ ‭EASY‬‬

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Week 3 Nobody Makes It Out Alive Day 3 Grief: Anger

“My God, my God, why have you abandoned me? Why are you so far away when I groan for help? Every day I call to you, my God, but you do not answer. Every night I lift my voice, but I find no relief.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭22:1-2‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Anger is so appropriate after denial, isn’t it? Facing the injustice of death of a loved one or an end to a situation we thought we could count on forever. Rage begins to bubble for various reasons when we realize that the loss is irreversible. We start thinking of how unfair it all is, what we would’ve done differently had we had the chance. That sinking feeling that however our last moments were spent with that person we will not have another chance for a do-over.

The key for me in this stage of grief is to get it out by writing in my ugly journal. Yes that’s a real thing. I have a journal that my pen has gouged through, scratch marks that looks like a crime scene as well as my most unedited thoughts.. While other pages have words that would be rated with parental advisory in them. This journal is not for anyone but God and me. God, already knowing and understanding my pain, my frustration, my tear stained pages, He is the only one that gets the “why” behind my anger. He is the only One of whom I can trust in my own fragility to get me on through to other side.

Anger is normal. What is not normal or healthy is to let it live inside of you. If we allow anger to live inside of us, it will grow and it will slowly move every other necessary emotion out of us until we can’t process in love.

If you struggle with anger, get help to learn how to undo it’s damage to yourself and the ones living around you. Once someone is gone, through death or loss, or a season with them is over, our responsibility from here on out is to take care of our health and well-being as well as the people still with us. It doesn’t mean that we forget the person we lost. What it means is we find gratitude for the time we did have with them. Resting on anger for too long will not only destroy our current relationships but will destroy us too.

Lord, help us process our anger in a healthy way and show us how to get on the other side of it. We might wrestle with it more than once on this journey, but Lord, we don’t want it to consume us and the relationships we still have. Amen.

“Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don’t stay angry. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.”
‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭4:26-27‬ ‭MSG‬‬

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Week 3 Nobody Makes It Out Alive Day 2 Grief: The delusion of denial

“Be kind and patient in a way that everyone can see. Remember that the Lord is near. Do not worry about anything. Instead, pray to God about everything. Ask him to help you with the things that you need. And thank him for his help. If you do that, God will give you peace in your minds. That peace is so great that nobody can completely understand it. You will not worry or be afraid, because you belong to Christ Jesus.”
‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:5-7‬ ‭EASY‬‬

Most, or close to all, experts agree that the necessity to process loss is vital to being able to function physically, emotionally and mentally without the person or thing that they lost. Watching a loved one go through the process of loss and grief can be challenging. Many times we don’t know how to respond to our own grief so we fail at supporting others through theirs. Whether your watching someone you love process their grief or working through your own grief, reach out, listen, hug, cry but whatever you do, do not do nothing.

I am high on the list of people that when I do not know what to do, I do nothing. I shut down and am comfortable pushing everyone away, when I’m hurting. I tend to go silent if someone else is hurting for fear of saying something the wrong way and worse, being responsible for making them feel worse. I’m learning ways to break that habit of going silent when people I love are hurting. Go ahead and steal these if you struggle with this too. The first thing I do is reach out and acknowledge their loss. A simple: “I’m so sorry for your loss.”The other thing I do is follow up and let them know I’m thinking of them. It goes something like this: “Hey, I was thinking of you today. I’m available if you need to talk.” What I don’t do anymore is ask how they’re doing. That question triggers me so I just stopped saying it. Grieving people need to grieve at their own pace. If you’re genuine, just be available. You don’t have to fix it, or preach at anyone or force them through the process. Everyone grieves differently. So by giving yourself and others permission to go through the process at your/their own pace is typically well-received. The fact is it hurts. Let the pain of the loss be felt without judgement or guilt. We/they eventually get through the pain to acceptance but there are some more steps in the process to get there. Be patient with yourself and with others that are experiencing loss.

The denial step gives us a minute to protect ourselves from the pain coming as a result of losing someone or something that we love. However, if we sit in denial for too long it becomes a delusion that no longer protects us but lies to us about reality. This distorts our ability to make the best decisions in the middle of our pain. Denial is part of the process but is meant to be temporary. It’s intended to give us a minute to catch our breath from the big blow to our gut and heart. Catch your breath my friend but don’t stay here too long. If you stay here too long, it will hurt you and the ones living around you, in the long-run.

Lord, help us through the steps of grief with your word and promise of peace. We believe that in due time we will be able to honor the time we had with our loved one that has passed or be grateful for the season we had with a specific thing but while the loss is still fresh, we are hurting. We can’t face this without Your comfort and peace. Help us take the time while in this step of denial to find the strength within us to face this loss. Amen.

“Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.”
‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:8-9‬ ‭MSG‬‬

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Week 3 Nobody Makes It Out Alive Day 1: Grief

“When I have trouble, your promise gives me peace in my mind. It makes my life strong again.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭119:50‬ ‭EASY‬‬

Grief, just the word brings a sense of heaviness to our hearts. Grief represents many painful parts of our life. It is a part of life and is usually associated with death. Death of a loved one, death of a season, death of a relationship. Many things that we once thought would last forever, brought to an end. This is the heaviness of grief.

One will not live too long before they experience it. Yet, we avoid it, deny its existence and pretend it will go away if we ignore it. However, we learn at some point it needs to be faced, if we want peace.

Rehearsing the events leading up to the loss doesn’t help because something always triggers the pain associated with it. Pretending like it doesn’t hurt doesn’t work because we hurt alone. The only way to process grief is to face it.

I’m not an expert but I have practiced healthy processing of grieving and unhealthy processing of it. I can assure you that processing your grief in a healthy way will not only help you but will allow you to help others in their grieving process. Since grief is inevitable, it would be best to learn how to face it.

“In her original book, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross referenced five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. … There is, however, healthy and unhealthy (unresolved) grief, and being able to recognize if help is necessary is important.” (Better Help, March 18,2021, Buckly, medically reviewed by Deborah Horton)

Here is a link for you to learn where you are in the grieving process and when you should seek medical help: https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/grief/understanding-the-stages-of-grief/

We are going to face the stages of grief together this week.

Lord, help us grieve in a healthy way so that we can be of support to one another in loss and pain. We look to You God for truth and real application to not try to live amongst the dead but embrace the living. Amen

“We thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, because he is so good to us. As our Father, he is very kind to us. He is our God who comforts us in every way. Whenever we have trouble, he comforts us. Because of that, we ourselves can comfort other people. When they have any kind of trouble, we can comfort them, in the same way that God has comforted us. Christ himself received much pain, and God comforted him. As Christ’s servants, we also receive the same kind of pain. But, God also comforts us very much, because we belong to Christ.”
‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭1:3-5‬ ‭EASY‬‬

#jointhejourney #writer #journey #author #khoward #k4gsus #beautifullybroken #nobodymakesitoutalive #devotional #seizetheday #week3 #grief

Beautifully Broken by K.Howard

Week 2 Nobody Makes It Out Alive Day 7 Battle to Acceptance

“So, nobody can say that God should still punish us. Nobody can say that, because Christ Jesus himself died on our behalf. And God raised him so that he became alive again after his death. Now Christ is sitting at God’s right side in heaven. He himself is praying to God on our behalf. Christ will always continue to love us. Nothing can stop that! We may have troubles. Things may make us sad or afraid. People may do bad things to us. We may have no food or no clothes. There may be great danger. People may even try to kill us. But none of these things can stop Christ from loving us.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:34-35‬ ‭EASY‬‬

Have we truly accepted the gift of the cross? Do we comprehend that God is not mad at us but that He’s mad at the devil for deceiving us? Do we embrace the overwhelming, radical, reckless love of God?

Have you ever received a gift and refuse to open it? Ridiculous thought, right? But every day, that we choose that earthly kind of love concept, when we think about Jesus, that’s exactly what we do. There is nothing like fully accepting God’s love for us. It is a gift that has no end in sight. We cannot out sin God’s love for us if we believe.

Put your hand over your heart. Close your eyes. Focus on the rhythm of your heart. That’s the beat of God’s love pumping life through your body. It’s the gift of life, a life meant to be loved by their God. Will you choose Him today? He has already chosen you. That beating heart is proof that you have purpose.

Lord, we receive the gift of life today with a fresh perspective and sense of purpose. Remind us when we lose sight of that to just lay our hand over our hearts and thank you for our purpose, whether we know what that is yet or not. We believe that You are who You say You are, that we are Your beloved, that You are our forgiver of our sins. Have Your way in us, Lord. Amen.

“I am sure of this. Nothing can stop God from loving us. Death cannot do that. Life cannot do that. Angels cannot do that, nor can demons do that. Nothing that happens to us now, or that will happen in a future time can do that. No powerful spirits can do that. Nothing that is high above the world can do that, nor anything that is deep down below the ground. Nothing else in the whole universe can stop God from loving us. Because of our Lord Christ Jesus, we know how much God loves us. Because God loves us, none of these troubles can ever beat us. He makes us win against them.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:37-39‬ ‭EASY‬‬

#jointhejourney #writer #journey #author #khoward #k4gsus #beautifullybroken #nobodymakesitoutalive #devotional #seizetheday #week2 #thecross #believe #acceptance #live #love

Week 2 Nobody Makes It Out Alive Day 6 The battle is won

“At the crack of dawn on Sunday, the women came to the tomb carrying the burial spices they had prepared. They found the entrance stone rolled back from the tomb, so they walked in. But once inside, they couldn’t find the body of the Master Jesus.

They were puzzled, wondering what to make of this. Then, out of nowhere it seemed, two men, light cascading over them, stood there. The women were awestruck and bowed down in worship. The men said, “Why are you looking for the Living One in a cemetery? He is not here, but raised up. Remember how he told you when you were still back in Galilee that he had to be handed over to sinners, be killed on a cross, and in three days rise up?” Then they remembered Jesus’ words.”
‭‭Luke‬ ‭24:1-8‬ ‭MSG‬‬

Everything about our Christian faith hinges on the validity of this day. The day the stone was rolled away, the day the empty tomb was found, the moment that many who thought Jesus was dead saw with their own eyes that he was very much alive.

Lord, this is our crossroads to believe or not believe that you won the battle over sin and the grave for us. Let us never stop reading the accounts of your ministry, your suffering for our benefit, your death on the cross and your magnificent resurrection. Let us see the track record of prophetic fulfillment where ever you are mentioned in the Bible. Let us live like we believe it. Amen.

“He went on to open their understanding of the Word of God, showing them how to read their Bibles this way. He said, “You can see now how it is written that the Messiah suffers, rises from the dead on the third day, and then a total life-change through the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed in his name to all nations—starting from here, from Jerusalem! You’re the first to hear and see it. You’re the witnesses. What comes next is very important: I am sending what my Father promised to you, so stay here in the city until he arrives, until you’re equipped with power from on high.” Then he said, “Everything I told you while I was with you comes to this: All the things written about me in the Law of Moses, in the Prophets, and in the Psalms have to be fulfilled.””
‭‭Luke‬ ‭24:44-49‬ ‭MSG‬‬

#jointhejourney #writer #journey #author #khoward #k4gsus #beautifullybroken #nobodymakesitoutalive #devotional #seizetheday #week2 #thecross #believe #battle #victory #heisalive #heisrisen

Week 2 Nobody Makes It Out Alive Day 5 Believe

“This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn’t go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again. Anyone who trusts in him is acquitted; anyone who refuses to trust him has long since been under the death sentence without knowing it. And why? Because of that person’s failure to believe in the one-of-a-kind Son of God when introduced to him.

“This is the crisis we’re in: God-light streamed into the world, but men and women everywhere ran for the darkness. They went for the darkness because they were not really interested in pleasing God. Everyone who makes a practice of doing evil, addicted to denial and illusion, hates God-light and won’t come near it, fearing a painful exposure. But anyone working and living in truth and reality welcomes God-light so the work can be seen for the God-work it is.”
‭‭John‬ ‭3:16-21‬ ‭MSG‬‬

We cannot minimize God’s sacrifice of His only Son being beaten beyond recognition, carrying His cross, our cross to complete His mission (Salvation for all men, women and children) by picturing crosses with clean Jesus hanging somberly on a clean cross. If we don’t take the time to gaze into his bruised, battered and bleeding face of punishment He took for us? We miss it. We completely miss the gravity of sin and it’s consequences.

We need to experience conviction for minimizing the picture of what Jesus endured on our behalf. Yet balance that conviction with complete commitment to God and all that it entails. Not out of guilt and shame but out of overwhelming, mind blowing love from our Father in heaven. Not to just process His death, burial and resurrection but the beatings, pain and separation from His heavenly home. All for us, the sinners, fulfilled by the One without sin. It is truly the greatest love story ever told and implemented.

Lord, You are the very reason we have breath in our lungs. Hold us in Your nail scarred hands until we are convinced of the love You’ve poured on us. Amen.

“I pray that God will cause you to be strong in your spirits. God has great and valuable things in heaven to help you. I pray that God’s Spirit will help you with God’s own power. I pray that Christ will make his home in you, as you believe in him. Then you will know God’s love very well. You will be like trees that have roots which go down deep into God’s love. That will make you strong.”
‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭3:16-17‬ ‭EASY‬‬

#jointhejourney #writer #journey #author #khoward #k4gsus #beautifullybroken #nobodymakesitoutalive #devotional #seizetheday #week2 #thecross #believe

Lenting along

Does anyone else feel like they’re just lenting along with the believer crowd, during this time of year? Though I’ve participated for many years, I didn’t want to mimic the catholic version but rather to truly consider the next 40 days in Jesus’s shoes. I did a little research, realized that the penance motivation of the believer is nothing compared to the penance of the one who never sinned, Jesus.

Christ fasted and prayed as he approached the cross on our behalf, because of our sin. And even if I chose to walk out these 40 days the exact same way that He did, I would never make the cut to hang on that cross and redeem all of mankind. Absolutely, profound.

We believers can lent around with somber faces over giving up modern day conveniences all we want but at the end of the day, I’m not going to call that a sacrifice compared to Jesus’s endurance of the cross.

I refuse to reduce the days of lenting around with fellow believers as my sacrifice to God’s redemptive plan for me. I won’t even call it gratitude for what He’s done for me. What I will do is allow the disruption to my normal routine and my full belly to remember what He did and still gave me the option to choose.

If you want to lent around with me, this is what I’m doing for the next 40 days. I’m disrupting my daily routine of coffee, read/write/study and ending my night with reading and ice cream with this:

1. Fast all coffee, ice cream and first two meals replaced with protein drink, but keep dinner with family. No devices at the table no matter what is going on with work.

2. Start the day with a shower and dressed for the day. (This is kind of big one though it may not seem like it, since I work from home)

3. Read the word and journal whatever comes to mind. Keeping a prayer journal for the things I’m fasting and praying for. I want to experience a move of God in my life and the people I’m praying for.

It’s simple but a completely different routine for me. I want to wake up each day with the mentality of, “I’m ready to do Your will today, Lord. Whether it’s here in my home, or prepared to walk out the door with no notice. I want to remember that the tomb is empty, you have risen, you are alive, you are preparing a place for me, you are coming back for me.”

I would love to hear how you are spending the next 40 days?

Week 2 Nobody Makes It Out Alive Day 4 Letting go and letting God

“Jesus began to cry. The Jews said, “See how much he loved him!” But some of them said, “He healed the eyes of the man born blind. Couldn’t he have kept Lazarus from dying?””
‭‭John‬ ‭11:35-37‬ ‭CEB‬‬

Have you ever been in a situation where you have a really good secret that will surprise and bless people but you can’t share it until it’s time for the party or the reveal? That was Jesus, in the account of Lazarus’s death and Jesus raising him from the dead.

If you read all of John chapter 11, there are plenty of hints being dropped by Jesus. However, nobody, not his disciples, not Mary and Martha, not one was picking up what Jesus was throwing down.

Many scholars have their theories on why Jesus wept over Lazarus‘s tomb. My theory is this: they didn’t get it. They didn’t pick up on why he delayed the trip so that His glory would be shown to all through raising Lazarus from the dead. So Jesus wept. He wept for their unbelief. He wept for their hearts convinced that He didn’t have a plan or a purpose in this, regardless of the outcome. He wept because they couldn’t let go of these earthly mindsets to grab ahold of eternal promises. He wept because this was the precursor to His own death and resurrection. He wept because He knew that after 3 years of ministry with them, they still had many doubts to work through. He wept for their eyes to be opened to His authority over death and the grave.

The stone in front of whatever is keeping you from truly letting go of what has passed and letting God give you His eternal future has to be moved or removed before God can resurrect the life you could be living with Him by your side. Some things have to be buried for good. Some things are seeds that don’t reveal themselves until later and some things have to be called out and revived in Jesus name.

Jesus told them to remove the stone from the tomb. He did not remove the stone for them. When we are willing to let go and roll the stone away, God is ready to move on your behalf.

Lord, help us let go of the things that stand in the way of your resurrection power and let You have Your way in our lives. Help us accept what is removed, help us nurture the seeds that are planted for later, help us seize the moment of revival in us for today. Amen

“Jesus said, “ Remove the stone. ” Martha, the sister of the dead man, said, “Lord, the smell will be awful! He’s been dead four days.” Jesus replied, “ Didn’t I tell you that if you believe, you will see God’s glory? ””
‭‭John‬ ‭11:39-40‬ ‭CEB‬‬

# jointhejourney #writer #journey #author #khoward #k4gsus #beautifullybroken #nobodymakesitoutalive #devotional #seizetheday #week2 #letgoletgod

Week 2 Nobody Makes It Out Alive Day 3 Trust the Process

“My Christian friends, remember to be happy, even when many kinds of trouble happen to you. Troubles can help you. God wants to see if you really trust him. Your faith in God will become stronger as a result of these troubles. So you should continue to trust God all the way to the end. Then you will grow as a believer. You will become completely how you should be. You will not need anything more.”
‭‭James‬ ‭1:2-4‬ ‭EASY‬‬

Jesus knows about trials, trouble and tests that have unexpected arrivals and outcomes. The difference between us and Jesus in these moments is that Jesus is not surprised like we are. Jesus takes our free will, the freedom of our choices and keeps working them out for our good.

For example, as we read the accounts of the days leading up to resurrection Sunday there was a lot going on behind the scenes. Jesus had a divine appointment with an excruciating process and no behind the scenes plan was going to divert his plan and purpose.

On one hand, the religious leaders were plotting to ambush Jesus and keep Him from getting more followers. The Bible says that basically Jesus diverted their plans because their plan didn’t line up with God’s divine appointment book.

On the other hand, Judas, one of the disciples, was negotiating his 30 pieces of silver to turn over Jesus to governing leaders. Jesus did not thwart this plan because this plan would be the set up for the divine appointed time for the excruciating process. Where heaven and earth would collide, where Jesus faces off our consequences from sin and defeats the grave, defeats the devil and rescues His beloved (that’s you and me) from the laws of sin.

While the excruciating process of the cross was part of Jesus’s purpose, He joyfully, knowingly walked out the process because He knows the full plans He has for us. He knows that while we, His beloved, may feel so far away from Him, or think that our captivity in our, what seem to be, impossible circumstances will never end… Our beloved Jesus has a plan and He will see it to its completion and it’s always with our best interest in mind.

Jesus has an incredible track record of following through with everything He said He would do. And though some will choose their own path, He will not stop working things out for their good. He will never stop fighting for us. As long as we have breath on this earth, there’s still a chance that He could win our heart. We need to trust the process and stop following the crowd.

Lord, help us trust the process. Help us get into your word and reveal to us not only the plan and purpose for our lives but give us wisdom and understanding to trust the divine appointment you went through to save us. Amen.

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:28‬ ‭NLT‬‬

#jointhejourney #writer #journey #author #khoward #k4gsus #beautifullybroken #nobodymakesitoutalive #devotional #seizetheday #week2 #HolyWeek #trusttheprocess

Week 2 Nobody Makes It Out Alive Day 2 Friend or Foe

“This isn’t the neighborhood bully mocking me—I could take that. This isn’t a foreign devil spitting invective—I could tune that out. It’s you! We grew up together! You! My best friend! Those long hours of leisure as we walked arm in arm, God a third party to our conversation.”
‭‭Psalm‬ ‭55:12-14‬ ‭MSG‬‬

We have all been there, right? That sinking feeling of realizing you have been betrayed by a person or a group of people that you thought, and they said, would never hurt you. Though, the experience for each of us has different faces, names and details, we can all relate to that gut wrenching pain that comes from betrayal.

The psalm above is more relatable than I care to share the details here. But I feel it in the inner most parts of my soul each time I read it. The initial hurt, denial, anger, pain and finally acceptance that I need to move on without them. That if there were to be a reconciliation, God would have to initiate it because my wounds were cut too deep to even consider it. It does not mean I have not forgiven them. It just means that their behavior created a boundary because trust had been violated at every level.

These are tough situations that are challenging to recover from. But God can restore your broken heart over betrayal and not restore that relationship, as well as give you a heart for accepting the situation and still not let anger, hurt and resentment control you.

God is not surprised by one thing going on in the world, as a whole, or our world as an individual. He knows and he relates to us. He endured betrayal that he knew would happen. Read about the betrayal of the leaders of the synagogue, his disciples (the accounts of Peter and Judas), the government leaders. All forms of betrayal yet it was that betrayal that helped assist Jesus’s prophetic purpose. Every part of what happened pushed heaven and earth to collide so we could have eternity back in reach if we would just believe.

Jesus endured the consequences of our sin, we get to embrace the result of Jesus’s sacrifice, liberty from the consequences of sin and death. Though our human counterparts may imperfectly step through our lives there is but one that will never leave you or betray you and that is Jesus.

The passage below is so rich in wisdom of how to handle our foes, the people we trusted at one time and betrayed us another, the people that swore to never hurt us or leave us but they did. Jesus, in all of his infinite knowledge and wisdom responds perfectly. He took what foolishness they threw at him and forced them to concede to the debate that they initiated. He refused to get caught up in conversations that led away from his plan and purpose. He flipped the script. Jesus moved on without them, He answered only to His Father in heaven. He knew that God’s voice was the only voice that mattered as He prepared Himself to face the cross. In the face of death, he took back all authority over sin and death and rose from the dead. He revealed himself long enough to give us some last instructions, while He went to prepare our home with Him, announcing that He will return for us.

All the haters are gonna hate but God is the only one who can save us.

Lord I pray that we learn who God is to us, who we are to Him and why that matters. I promise you that though people may disappoint and betray you, God never will. Amen.

“One day he was teaching the people in the Temple, proclaiming the Message. The high priests, religion scholars, and leaders confronted him and demanded, “Show us your credentials. Who authorized you to speak and act like this?”

Jesus answered, “First, let me ask you a question: About the baptism of John—who authorized it, heaven or humans?”

They were on the spot, and knew it. They pulled back into a huddle and whispered, “If we say ‘heaven,’ he’ll ask us why we didn’t believe him; if we say ‘humans,’ the people will tear us limb from limb, convinced as they are that John was God’s prophet.” They agreed to concede that round to Jesus and said they didn’t know.

Jesus said, “Then neither will I answer your question.””
‭‭Luke‬ ‭20:1-8‬ ‭MSG‬‬

#jointhejourney #writer #journey #author #khoward #k4gsus #beautifullybroken #nobodymakesitoutalive #devotional #seizetheday #week2 #betrayal #friendorfoe

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