“If we claim, “We don’t have any sin,” we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. But if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from everything we’ve done wrong. If we claim, “We have never sinned,” we make him a liar and his word is not in us.”
1 John 1:8-10 CEB
If we are to accept our past, we must admit to what has happened and face it. I have also learned that holding onto any unforgiveness towards myself, God, or other people will cause my mind to give that person or situation free rent space in my head.
If we are focused on the things from the past, that we cannot change, it robs us of giving attention to our present moments that actually have the most potential for better choices. In this present moment, we have the opportunity to apply what we have learned from the past rather than repeat the mistakes we have made. However, if we beat ourselves up over what we have done in the past, it will take up mental space to accomplish what we can do with our present moment.
We cannot talk about accepting the past without discussing the injustice, abuse and unfair treatment from others. Especially, those that were supposed to love us or vowed to be there for us forever. Betrayal like that hurts, causes wounds in the heart that are hard to process. Those wounds become battle scars for the next battle. I hope this gives you a little groundwork for healing when I share this about forgiveness.
Let me tell you what forgiveness does not mean:
- It does not mean that what happened is okay with you or that you condone the behavior.
- It does not mean that you have to keep a relationship with this person.
- It does not mean that they are set free.
What it does mean: - You do trust God to bring justice to the situation and allow the battle to belong to the Lord.
- You get to set the boundaries. You are in total control of how, if at all, this person is back in your life.
- You get that free rent space back in your head so you can live your best life, right now. You are free.
Lord, there are no secrets between us, yet we keep things from you as if there were. Help us include you in our offenses from the sin in our own lives as well as the unfairness, injustice and hurts brought in our lives from others. Help us forgive quickly, accept our past for what it is and live in the present with wiser perspective. Amen.
“Let all bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander be removed from you, along with all malice. And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.”
Ephesians 4:31-32 CSB
From the Depths of Kell 