“I hear your waterfalls make a noise like thunder. It seems like all that water is pouring over me and it knocks me down to the ground.”
Psalms 42:7 EASY
Depression from loss is normal. It would be odd to not be sad when someone we love so much is no longer with us. It would be out of character to not be sad when a situation we found joy and contentment in has now ended abruptly or unexpectedly. To the same extent that we loved is the extent we will experience sorrow when that person or situation is gone. That sorrow is temporary but cyclical at times. We eventually learn to balance the sadness from our loss with the demands of living.
This becomes a problem when we stay in that sadness and not learn to find away to live without them or the situation. Though everyone grieves at different stages for different lengths of time, we must live, while we grieve. Ease ourselves back into the familiar routines that use up space and time that would be used to rehearse the pain. Part of our healing comes from living again as well as going from surviving our loss to coping with our loss. You might have doubts right now because it’s still fresh but it is possible. So, if you’re trapped in the process of depression, if you’re so immobilized by the pain of your loss that you can hardly get out of bed, make a sandwich or enjoy the many dishes of food brought to you by friends and family, it’s time to find a grief counselor. It’s time to think about asking for help. You are not as alone as you feel. God is with you, weeping with you and there are grief counseling groups, therapists and grief resources available to you. Friends mean well but they’re usually not equipped to help you out of depression. There are coping skills that a professional grief counselor can provide, if you’re willing.
The atmosphere of depression typically sets in the week after all of the arrangements have been made, the services are done, your autopilot has turned off, you do not have to be strong for anyone else, all of the company has gone home and you’re surrounded by food that will spoil before you can finish it, a card-box full of condolences and funeral arrangements. The tears flow and you fall asleep on a tear soaked pillow or worse you choke back the tears because you’re afraid once they start, you won’t be able to stop them.
This depression, this sadness will pass. And when it does, it does not mean that the person you love and lost is forgotten. It means, that you grieved and it’s time to learn how to honor their time here while you honor the time you have left with the ones still here.
Cry as much as your body tells you to. It will release toxins and help cleanse away the pain. Get into a grief group or at least meet with a grief counselor. But whatever you do do not try to battle this alone. Do not let the sadness convince you that you’re alone.
Lord, this stage of grief is so confusing and a blur when we look back on it. Help us reach out when the heaviness of our loss goes from normal, temporary depression to a clinical kind of depression. Trigger something in us to know when to ask for help. Lord, we thank you for never leaving us though we may feel like You’ve abandoned us. Feelings are not fact, they are like an indicator light on the dashboard of our car that help us navigate through our life journey. Help us respond accordingly in the best way, for the best outcome. Amen.
“God will take away all the tears from their eyes. Nobody will ever die again. Nobody will be sad again. Nobody will ever cry. Nobody will have pain again. Everything that made people sad has now gone. That old world has completely gone away.’”
Revelation 21:4 EASY
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From the Depths of Kell 